Quote of the Week

“That baby just rolled his eyes at us.  That’s how babies are, y’know… they think the world revolves around them.” – Steven P.

“I went to f*uckin’ fart and I was prairie doggin’!” – Steven P.

“I don’t know where they hang!” [slugs] – Laurie S.

“People think if you don’t plant flowers on mothers day, then you’re an asshole.” – Mark A.

“We don’t need to got to holy hill, we’ve got a miracle right here!” – Laurie S.

“I did do one thing I haven’t done since 1998. I took a drag off a one hitter.” – John A.

“They must not have “Jeopardy” in Romania.” – Mark. M.

“I love how we punch through the thin veneer of professionalism right away.” – John A.

“Have a nice day, guys!  Watch out for dumbasses!” – Unknown Name

“The one time in 13 years I put the water bottle that I pee in, in the cup holder instead of in the back of the van…”  – John A.

“This place is put together with Band Aids and marshmallows!” – Chris K.

“Sit your ass down and learn somethin’ like the rest of us!” – Herbert L.

“They would fire me if I killed someone, but I wouldn’t do that because that’s against my moral codes.” – Brenda S.

“I was like, why am I peeing on my ass?” – Pamela L.

“I have CRAFT…Can’t Remember A F*cking Thing!” – Brenda S.

“How come ain’t nobody givin’ hugs and shit?” – Herbert L.

“Your boobs look fantastic!” – Shannon M.

“Hey…I knew about newts for a long time now.” – Jim N.

“Anyone that goes to Burnt Toast and orders a ham and cheese omlette deserves to get their ass kicked!” – Mike

“I like to work for my meat.” – Christina A.

“Show me on the doll how John ate the cake.” – Chris K.

“I had to go to anger management” [how was it?] “I don’t know, I got pissed off and left.” – Greg L.

“It’s the ‘Booty Call Plus’ program!” – Karen K.

“It’s a good thing I didn’t catch the bouquet, I’ve only got knee-hi’s on!” – Karen K.

“He’s uglier than a pussing sore on Nell Carter’s labia majora!” – Greg L.

“Don’t ask in the middle of ‘doin’ it’ if you can stop for a sip of Pepsi.” – Marcia B.

“I bought a stereo, the check’s gonna bounce tomorrow, I’m so impulsive.” – Heather N.

“Who in God’s name would want this much nutmeg?!?!?” – Kristin M.

“I went to driving school, it really blew, all you needed was a face!” – Pat A.

“I see ya’ got a bum wig.” – Unknown Name

“It’s queer, but I gotta pay the rent.” – Steve ?

“I can’t just find a pile of worms and leave!” – Nicole M.

“Identify, acknowldedge, move on.” – Kirk B.

“You don’t dress up nice and then pick yer butt!” – Sandie W.

“He’s got a little too much cock in his shorts.” – Unknown name of woman at “Sam’s Place”

“I looked around at everyone else and I didn’t know what to do, so I just threw it in my mouth and ate it.” – Don H.

“I hate it when you boss me around at the salad bar.” – Joy T.

“Wait a minute…I gotta blow and pee.” – Joy T.

“You see this…I don’t need your fuck!n’ cocoa mix!” – Joy T.

“She shoulda changed her name before she kicked it!” – Vern C.

“Everyone ate play-doh as a kid, I mean look at it, it had to be good!” – Martie G.

“No winner?  Then this ball is outta here!” – Tom Hanks (yes, I was an extra in “A League of Their Own” and I heard him say this, among other things!)

“Somethin’ told me right there, I’m not livin’ right.” – Bill M.

“Don’t jump so loud, you’re gonna make me wett my butt!” – Andre S.

“I got my car ripped off last year, that was a bitch.” – Kim K.

“I wanna know how they get their walls to sweat!” – Jeff A.

“What t.v. show was that, it featured bald people blowing bubbles.” – Sandy W.

“Donchoo b talkin’ bout my grandma.” – Random guy in college dorm gameroom

“Sleep is for fags.” – Sean W.

“I think we’ve got some kind of an enima enigma here.” – Kathy K.

“The big guy with the beard sneezed.” – Becky M.

“I only need ‘Iron rich foods’, what up?” – Jeff H.

“This worked on my second husband, I had him cornered in the kitchen [with large knife] and I said ‘now you tell me who that bitch was’, and he did, he told me everything!” – Barb S.

“They can’t bust ya’ for empties!” – Steve D.

“So in other words, she’s a dumbshit?” – Jackie F.

“It’s dead man, I saw it with my own eyes.” – Sean S. (a.k.a. – The Navajo)

“Just stop, have some cheeze, and think about it…” – Jennifer F.

“My mom is f’n high!” – Holly A.

“I really don’t notice how tan I am, ‘cuz it’s like…you’re with yourself all the time.” – Kristin M.

“Do you guys wanna like just get an ice cream cake and like…eat it?” – Joe K.

“She really liked ‘West Side Story’, she said it like influenced her life or something.” – Jennifer F.

“Now I know why people turn to reading…or microbiology…” – Laurie W.

“I do not enjoy body funk.” – Ken ?

“I am the epitome of hapiness and glee.” – Bill B.

“I don’t wanna be a sandwich man!” – Random guy in a mall

“I find that people who don’t lie tend to be boring.” – Jeff C.

“Well, I think I’ll just go home and relate.” – Amy P.

“You wouldn’t happen to have an extra pair of underwear, would you?” – Ann N.

“Okay, decrease…what does that mean, make more?” – Larry E.

“Nice pants, homo.” – Unknown Name

“The band would be so good if it weren’t for him and his organ.” – Amy P.

“Stay off my corn man…stay off my corn.” – Random guy on dance floor

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