Sip-N-She’s A LOT, BRO!

The feud atop the Hilton Garden Inn picks up where we left off last week and all we could hope for was a shot of Kenya and She by Shereé careening over the top balcony ripping at each other’s weaves.  But, our hopes and dreams have been dashed, the rest of the ladies manage to break it up and Porsha, of all people, thinks that She by Shereé gets “turnt up quick” and she is a bit put off by She by Shereé’s man veins poppin’ outta her neck.  This from the woman who dragged Kenya by her weave all the way off the reunion stage and back to the cookie basket at craft services.

Peter and Cynthia don’t fare much better, he’s heated about everything he can come up with, including his wife showing off her junk in the trunk in front of the whole eyewear launch party going audience.  Never mind the double standard, Cynthia must lament… their issues run deeper than the ditch where Kenya’s new house is located.  The incriminating video of Peter manhandling a bar patron over mozzarella sticks is just a symptom.

Kenya meets with new cast mate, Kim Fields, who has an actual legit career in show biz.  Kenya worked with Kim on Tyler Perry’s “Meet the Browns”, and she insists that Kim take a look at “Life Twirls On” and possibly direct.  We learned that Kim Fields is good at playing along because she doesn’t laugh Kenya out of her place of bidness, and we learn that Kim is not a big drinker.  By the end of this season however, she may be.  I’m not sure how she is going to fit in with all the drama and ill social skills of her cast mates, but that will be a fun part of the unfolding journey ahead.  Kenya takes a few stabs at “Tootie”, implying that her old roller skates are not at the Smithsonian, but rather being hocked on E-Bay.  Kim is deft at ignoring Kenya, we’ll see how long that lasts.

Kim Fields

In other bidness ventures gone awry, Cynthia is skyping with her bidness partner, but she can’t focus on rehashing the eyewear launch party.  She is troubled by the fact that Papa Smurf hopped on the first plane back to Charlotte and that he is more focused on serving up sub-par liquid cheese covered nachos at Sports One rather than cultivating his marriage.

Porsha has also spearheaded a new venture, “It’s a fine line between trashy and classy lingerie”.  She too is having difficulty focusing, not because she failed her “Shapes and Colors” test earlier that day, but because she is straight up lovesick.  All she can think about is her man of the month, Duke, and she decides to throw a “sip-n-see” so everyone can meet her baby man.  Time is of the essence for Porsha in this relationship, especially since there are only 265 days in her calendar year.

Later, Phaedra meets up with Cynthia at a tea shop so they can hash out precisely how ugly Cynthia’s fuchsia and red dress appears to be, oh and also to repair their damaged “friendship”.  The two have much more to relate about, now that Cynthia has come to terms that she too married a deadbeat, lying, asshat.  All Peter needs now is a Cynthia Bailey Backpack.

Now for the moment we’ve all been waiting for, the “sip-n-see”!  Porsha is getting ready for her big event and finds out that her sister, Lauren, is 13 weeks pregnant.  Porsha is a bit stunned that Lauren got knocked up before she did and she hopes this won’t damper the enthusiasm over the party.  Of course not Porsha, Lauren won’t let this get her down.  She will show her utmost enthusiasm over your flavor of the month and she will put her silly little woes aside.  Everyone assembles for the “sip-n-see”, but when Duke arrives, they all yell “surprise”.  I guess it’s a “surprise-n-see”, am I the only one not understanding the purpose of this party?  It appears that Duke is on his way out of town and this visit at Porsha’s was intended to be a quick stop before his friend Ken dumps him off at the airport.  Ken pulls Duke to the side of this three ring shit show to refresh his drink and say…“She’s a lot, Bro!”

Porsha-Party

We are treated to snippets of everyone in Porsha’s camp talking about how the relationship is doomed.  Someone even took it to the next level and Googled “Duke Williams”, only to find he enjoys long walks on the beach and hanging out with transgender porn stars… not that there’s anything wrong with that!  Porsha tops off the night by taking the microphone and awarding Duke an “MVP” trophy, because he is the MVP of her life.  Then she proceeds to actually present him with a Lucite plaque that she had made for him.  Meanwhile, Duke is doing some Googling of his own, “Does the ATL airport have a “Quick Retraining Order” kiosk?”

Surrounding all of this were some happenings at the Kandi Factory, the staff gathered around the kitchen for a bacon snack and Kandi announced that the doctor has ordered her to “slow down”, but the restaurant opening is still on track.  Wait, wha?  A soul food restaurant that serves everything on paper plates and drinks in red Solo cups.  Brilliant!  Then the staff is tasked with planning a baby shower and Todd asks that Phaedra’s invitation be engraved with the words “Bitch Better Have my Money”.  Trusty assistant, Don Juan, offers to personally collect what Phaedra owes Todd for a percentage.

Bitch Money

In other happenings at the Kandi Factory, Phaedra and Kandi have a sit down in the plush cow-hide chairs to finally bridge the great divide of season seven.  Kandi starts out the conversation and starts tearing up immediately.  Let’s do a mini recap:  friendship one-sided…hurt me…hurt you…FBI…Apollo’s motorbike…can’t visit prison…too expensive…bitch you work four jobs…owe Todd $8,000… $5,000… $8,000…going once…going twice…AT THE END OF THE DAY…we were BFF’s…you saw the birth of my sons…I wouldn’t let just anyone see my coochie!  At this time, Don Juan returns from his break, overhears them, and walks away laughing.  The ladies hug it out at the end of the day, and call it a day.

Kandi Phaedra - Good Cry

After Phaedra leaves, Don Juan creeps back into the break room and shoots their heartfelt dialog to shit and he gets line of the night, “Y’all just sat here and cried like two girls from The Color Purple.”

Don Juan Color Purple

He feels that Phaedra’s performance was as thick as the bacon grease residue on the Kandi Koated walls and Kandi begins to question the entire conversation.

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