The Wig Has Left the Building

We begin part two with OHAC pointing out how Nene loves conflict and Nene claims she is as neutral as Switzerland and she even encouraged her spineless puppet friend, Cynthia to form her own opinions about the other women.  Due to her newfound fame, Nene has apparently become the new Zen-Master, she isn’t sweating the small stuff.  But we will insert sound of needle scratching off of a record in about 20 seconds when she attacks Phaedra like a wild howler monkey.  Kandi fires back that Nene is always pushing the women to take sides.  Blah, blah, blah…we change gears and discuss the re-marriage plot line for Nene and Gregg.  Nene thinks her success drove a wedge between she and Gregg and it was difficult to sustain a loving marriage when all of these low down dirty bitches were being shady and negative.  Bitch puh-leaze, Nene knows she is getting a wedding buy Bravo, so she needs to just zip it.

Nene-99Problems

Next, Nene jumps on the Phaedra bashing wagon and accuses Phaedra of bringing Grade A Sketchball Marlo on the show to start shit with Nene because of her past with Charles Grant.  The convo quickly turned to Nene’s flirting with Peter, then we take a sharp turn off the rails and Nene throws out the example of Kenya’s inappropriate flirting with Apollo.  Kenya calls her low down and dirty and Phaedra calls her “twirl” and tells her to shut the hell up and Kenya flicks her biggest fan…again.  Phaedra gets the line of the night, saying to Kenya:  “You owe me a ‘back end’ for giving you a storyline!”  Loves.  It.

We review the Cynthia and Phaedra feud and I love Phaedra’s diversion tactic of talking about a bite on her boob to avoid fessing up to butt dialing Cynthia while saying “I don’t give a f*ck about Cynthia”.  Annnd, we had to revisit the makeout sesh between Phaedra and Apollo at the party?  Really Bravo?  She defends her sloppy, disgusting, PDA and then the gates are open for the ladies to attack.  Nene is first in line to lose her shit on Phaedra, something about Phaedra contacting Nene’s estranged half-sisters to stir up drama.  There’s a lot of low down dirty and getting’ it twisted.  Lesson of the day from Nene:  You never can win when you’re dirty!  Nene and Phaedra keep going at it and then Kenya inserts herself into it.  I love how OHAC is just watching like a game of tennis, fascinated.  We have a heated debate about what it means to truly “know” someone, Phaedra eeks out a half-assed apology to Nene, but there will be no “booty lickin’.”

At this point, I am getting really bored, the ladies look worn, and their Spanks are screaming.  Porsha looks about as confused as Jessica Simpson in a library.  Let’s liven it up a bit, shall we?  Welcome back Wigs-n-Cigs!  Everyone looks like they want to vomit or throat punch her and OHAC wants to pull on her hair since she has foregone the wig.  We all know that it may be her real hair in front and she has falsies pinned in the back rat’s nest.  The knockoff Stella McCartney dress in golf course green isn’t exactly doing her any favors either.  WTMSB (way too much side boob).

Kim-Wig

We review Wigs’ rolodex of excuses with the piece de resistance, when she gives three different stories about why she can’t go on the Anguilla trip, when clearly the ladies rearranged the trip schedule around her.  OHAC calls her out on it and says that Wigs was fully aware there would be a trip and when.  Nene tacked on the fact that Wigs was in a meeting with production about the trim, so bottom line, the bitch knew and she bailed.  Wigs can’t admit that she was wrong, so she pulls the “family” card out of her wig and defends her decision to not go on the trip.  Wigs and Kandi get into it about being late for events, preferential treatment given to Wigs, whose house is better, and Kash-gate.  Kroy comes in from off-camera like a bailiff and provides paper work for Wigs to prove that she established an LLC in the baby’s name and picked the name “Kash” first.  Well the point is MOOT because Kandi isn’t going to use the name and the new name is being kept on the down low.

Kim-Paperwork

OHAC puts the million dollar question on the table, will Wigs-n-Cigs and Nene ever be friends again?  They both give a lukewarm “maybe”, then they hug it out with some prompting from OHAC.  Nene’s engulfs Wigs in her cookie monster blue Zen-master capelette and softly whispers “you still need to close your legs to married men, trashbox.”  Hugging time is over, Wigs needs to bounce, she has a spin-off to film!  DEUCES!

Nene-Cape

Next week the househubbies make an appearance and hopefully we find out the truth about Kenya and Apollo.

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