Odds and Ends

We return to the ATL by watching Porsha’s mother and sister tell her she looks like a freak in the Cookie Monster blue formal dress she wants to wear for Kordell’s 40th birthday party.  She changes into a shorter number from the “Dancing With the Stars” reject collection and all the ladies are on board.  Although she finally settles on a long dress with a cape attached.  The theme of the party is going to be Harlem Nights Casino Medieval Western Renaissance and Miss Porsha is not sparing any of Kordell’s money.

PorshaDress

Phaedra arrives at Kandi’s mansion announcing that she is feeling “very Oprah today”, meaning grateful.  Phaedra drinks some overly sweet instant tea while Kandi saws kernels off of a corncob and they discuss Kenya’s display of full-blown cray cray at the Shoedazzle event.  Phaedra seems to think that Kenya is such a fan of hers and files the incident under flattery, but she drops one last blow and says that Kenya has a Home Depot booty and was wearing “Victoria’s Secret free coupon underwear”.  Kandi doesn’t like all this beef and thinks Phaedra’s indifference is a façade because she was clearly bothered by the free coupon underwear at the event.

Kenya is accompanied by her aunt Lori to visit Dr. Speed.  Kenya has two lumps in her breasts and is having a biopsy.  Kenya tearfully tells us she is nervous and the doctor expects results soon, but it has helped her put things in perspective until her next caper into crazytown.

SadKenya

Meanwhile, at the Bailey Coochie Crack Agency, Cynthia is hard at work on her pageant.  Cynthia mentions that the meeting with her, Porsha and the Bailey Boys was scheduled at Porsha’s house, but Porsha didn’t want any stranger dangers in her home.  Porsha arrives and meets the strange “Bailey Boys”, and Cynthia wastes no time whipping up a shit stew and she confronts Porsha about her refusal to take the meeting at her home.  Porsha explains that her creepy, controlling hubby Kordell is out of town and she doesn’t take any appointments without his supervision.  The Bailey Boys give Porsha some rules for conduct while at the agency, which were spurred by the Kenya incident.  They are having their intense discussion about refraining from being condescending and listening more than we speak, but Porsha receives an urgent call from her housekeeping staff, which she must take.  As Porsha dictates orders to her maid, the maid is probably scrubbing the toilet with Kordell’s toothbrush Cynthia is visibly annoyed, but again, I thought we weren’t working with friends for these very reasons…

After Kordell arrives back home, he and Porsha pretend to play a game of basketball, but it’s really an opportunity for her to tell Kordell about the Cynthia pageant debacle.  Kordell tells her to “check dat” and urges her to have a heart to heart with Cynthia immediately.  He questions her about his slogan, which is “guilty until proven innocent”.  Not sure what Cynthia is “guilty” of other than being annoyed with his simpleton wife, but he can’t resist inserting himself into the petty housewife drama.

Kandi is back in the studio with Salassi and Don Juan.  She has been so focused on her new home that she hasn’t had time to do her music, but that is about to change!  However, she must first take a call from Todd and then Don Juan blows her some shit about the romance.  Kandi assures Don that she is laser focused, she has a lot more money to stack.  As she tells him this, Todd calls again because he can’t find his fuzzy socks or the frosted flakes.

Porsha and Cynthia meet for a drink and Porsha plans to “check” Cynthia, according to Kordell’s orders, over the treatment she received at the Bailey Agency.  Cynthia waves her glass of wine around and beats her to the punch, essentially firing her from working on the pageant any further.  Well scripted played, Bravo Cynthia, well scripted played.

We cut back to Kandi in the studio revealing her plan to try a gospel record and her producers fall off their chairs in laughter.  However, she gets the last laugh as she has secured renowned gospel artist, Marvin Sapp, to collaborate with her.  Kandi attributes all her success and happiness to staying “prayed up”, hence the name of her new song.  She gets behind the mic and the producers love it.  Sidebar:  I think this has been the most boring episode this season.

It’s Kordell’s 40th Birthday and his Harlem Boogie Nights Gambling Renaissance Peanut Plantation party is in full swing.  The rest of the gang arrives one by one, but Porsha is still pretty “perturd” with Cynthia.  Uggh…Porsha, spell check is going to be so angry with you!  Annnd look what the cat dragged in, the Martin Luther King, Jr. of Towing…Walter.  Peter asks Walter about Kenya and he replies “Kenya who?”  Peter gets a bit pissy that Walter didn’t tell him about the breakup, but Walter says he didn’t want to put his breakup bidness out there.  Good thinking, especially after you agreed to play Kenya’s boyfriend on national television.  Kordell and Peter re-affirm that it’s bros before hos and they perform the secret handshake of the fraternal order of the meddling househusbands.  Cynthia saunters over in her 1920’s getup and Kordell gives her some of his “Kordell-isms” and tells her to “keep steady”.  Kordell makes about as much sense as Paula Abdul after a box of wine.  Cynthia is getting sick of him trying to fight Porsha’s battles and reads it as controlling.

Meanwhile, across town…Kenya returns to Dr. Speed’s office for her results.  Speed lectures her about stress and then Speed puts it in park and tells Kenya in the slowest possible way ever, that the lumps are benign.  Jeezuz Speed, way to stress out your patient!  Nonetheless, Kenya is relieved and feels blessed, her lunatic legacy will carry on.

Next week we meet Kandi’s father, Titus and Cynthia has a major lapse in her Kenya judgment and considers allowing her to be involved with the pageant.

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