In Through the Out Door

Nene is getting situated in her L.A. rental home and Krazy Kenya was kind enough to send Nene some of her old furniture she put into storage when she relocated from L.A. to Atlanta to be closer to her fake ass boyfriend, Walter.  Note to Kenya:  EPIC FAIL.  Nene is hoping that Kenya has better taste in furniture than she does men, but it appears to be peeing lawn statues and large, ornate furniture.  Nene brags about her new neighbors in the Misogynist Estates HOA, Mel Gibson and Larry Flynt.

Meanwhile, Riley and Kandi make a cake for Todd’s birthday.  Kandi tells Riley a bit about the big party she planned for Todd including a helicopter ride.  Riley wants the same big festivities for her sweet 16 and also mentions that she has her sights set on moving into the guest house.  Kandi gives her a little lecture about being out of touch when it comes to the value of money.  Props to Kandi for “keepin’ it real”, and once again, this is why she will always have enough green in her bank account unlike a certain former housewife we affectionately call “Wigs-n-Smokes”.

Kenya is “making dinner”, which is a box o’ salad and some watermelon, for her Aunt Lori and Cousin Che.  Aunt Lori cuts to the chase and wants to know what is up with Walter.  Kenya breaks the news that it’s over and Lori comments that she found the Anguilla “shower-gate” situation troubling.  Cousin Che throws out the gay card and doubles down with a toupee accusation.  But wait, she goes for the trifecta and reveals a juicy nugget, which is that Walter had hit on her back in the day.  Lori says he must be a womanizer misogynist, but encourages bunny boiling Kenya to get back on the horse.

Lori

Kenya is however, ready to get on the donkey, and she focuses on her collaboration with Phaedra and Apollo on the donkey booty workout video.  They talk about staging, the butt-cam, and Phaedra demos the “funky donkey” move.  Kenya announces that she dropped Phaedra’s name and secured a distribution deal, but Phaedra finds it a bit presumptuous that Kenya did this.  Strike one.  Kenya has mapped out a budget of $100K and mentions that she has put in six weeks of pre-production even though she’s not being paid yet.  I smell the foreshadowing of a feud.

Phaedra-Work_out

Gregg is chauffeuring Nene to her first day of work and they chat about Gregg filling the role of Mr. Mom.  Nene explains that she has a hard time delegating and letting go of control, but she needs her “eye of the tiger time” on work days.  Nothing too exciting here, except the evolution of Nene.  From being a toothless stripper with a bad wig to a role on a sit-com with her own trailer at Paramount Studios.  A hearty “BLOOP” and a “PLONK” to you Miss Nene!

Phaedra and Apollo meet with their own legal counsel to discuss Kenya’s inflated production plan and the lawyer comments that Kenya was to have a revised budget to him today, but has not seen it.  Strike TWO.  Kenya comes in wearing her black power dress from the Jacklyn Smith K-Mart Collection, while Phaedra’s lawyer hovers outside the door with his ear to a glass on the wall.  Kenya states that if she isn’t getting paid an up-front fee, she wants 10% on back end.  Phaedra squashes her and says that she already talked to Todd, who also works in production, and he can handle the video for ¼ of what Kenya proposed.  Strike THREE and cue gratuitous eye roll.  Kenya has worked on multi-million dollar films and states that her cut is usually 50%, to which Phaedra says “from who???”  Apollo gets in on the action and says “you actin’ like we dead fish, but this video gonna sell beau coup boo coo copies!”  Phaedra offers another demonstration by turning around and shaking her ass, “I’m sittin’ on a pot o’ gold right here!”  Then Phaedra rattles off some ill-conceived analogies about Chef Boyardee and Obama and caviar and Ayden.  Huh?  Cue eye roll again.  Kenya storms out and rants about how little they expect to pay her, heck she can barely buy a pair of shoes, and everybody knows…Kenya only wears $1,000 shoes.  Better to dig her heels in with?  That just makes her financially irresponsible.  Back in Phaedra’s office, Apollo asks her what happens to their friendship if the deal goes south and Phaedra says “the good thing is, we haven’t been friends that long.”  Ultimately, Kenya thinks if she can back door Phaedra and have intelligent convo with Apollo, she can get the project back on track and secure her back end.

Kandi and Todd leave for his 39th birthday festivities and they go on a helicopter ride around Atlanta.  Phaedra is at the restaurant setting up as the other friends arrive.  Porsha gets a slim showing this week and once again appears ditzy.  She is looking at a collage of Todd’s photos and she says she is looking for a picture of Kandi when she was little.  Phaedra breezes by, “it’s not gonna be there, it’s his burfday.”  Duh…  Kenya corners Apollo about the derailed donkey booty video and Apollo makes tactical error #1, he agrees with her and says that “Phaedra is the problem”.  Ooooo, eeeee, oohhh, bad move my dude.

Todd and Kandi finally arrived and they are dressed for a white party.  Kandi gives some brief words and explains that the lion cake represents how they met in Africa and how it was also their one year anniversary.  They join TMI kissing club as Todd sloppily lays one on her.  Kenya wastes no time and sidles up to them under the pretense of wishing Todd a happy birthday, but then proceeds to interrogate Todd about his discussion with Phaedra about the video production.  Kandi basically tells her, I love you like cooked food, but knock your shit off before I f*ck your ass up, it’s Todd’s birthday.

Kandi-Todd-White_Party

After all the scuttlebutt, we shift to Cynthia at the Bailey Agency of Coochie Crack.  There is a sign on the door stating that the Donkey Booty Video casting has been postponed until further notice.  Kenya shows up and she is sick and has lost her voice, which may work to our advantage this week, because this bitch is ready to throw down bath salt style over the donkey disagreement.  Cynthia and Kenya talk all things Phaedra and Cynthia explains that Phaedra tweeted something about this casting call without her knowledge.  Cynthia does casting calls for a fee, but has no intention of doing pro bono work.  Kenya spills her woes over the payment disagreements with Phaedra and gets Cynthia in her corner.  Phaedra arrives to face the two angry spice girls, and Cynthia sets Phaedra straight, no shirt, no shoes, no friend contract, no casting service, unless Parks coughs up some green.  Kenya doubles down and blasts Phaedra about not giving her a cut on the back end.

Cynthia-Set it strait

Cynthia makes a funny about how it’s a donkey booty video and you would think they would have covered the back end.  No, ifs, ands, or butts…this back end is wide open, and it’s inflamed with the fire of $1,000 shoes.  Phaedra says Kenya doesn’t deserve to be paid anything and Kenya says the whole thing has made her sick and she twirls out the door.  Phaedra says that Kenya is as crazy as a bed bug and their partnership has come to a grinding halt.

Seriously ladies, have we learned nothing from the “Tardy for the Party” debacle?  Get your shit hammered out up front so there isn’t any of this back door dealin’ bull shit.  I have to give Cynthia props for shutting down Phaedra like a tilt-o-whirl that has missing parts.  I’m a bit surprised at Phaedra, but perhaps this is her way of edging Kenya out of the deal and making sure the crazy paws stay off of Apollo.  Next week looks like a real barnburner as Kenya announces plans to release her own workout video.

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