Brother, Can you Spare a Whine?

Part three also known as “thank God this madness is coming to an end”, starts out with Mama Manzo apologizing for some of the comments she made about the Goo-duh-cahy marriage, but Juice man doesn’t want to hear it.  He keeps making his side comments calling Mama Manzo a “know what all.”  Well, at least she knows something, like how to form a sentence.  More on that later…

It wouldn’t be part three of the excruciating New Jersey reunion without the beating of a bedazzled horse.  IN TOUCH WEEKLY MAGAZINE…AGAIN!  I hope that rag gets a check for 0.03 cents every time it’s mentioned on this show.  OHAC asks Juicy what he meant by the comment he made in Napa about the deal they had with the magazine and Juicy tries to answer in his cro-mag language, but can’t say anything.  Jacs pipes up “C’mon what did you rehearse, what did she tell you to say, try to remember your lines!”

We move on to Juicy’s legal woes and the fact that he attempted to obtain a duplicate license under his brother’s name.  Jacks butts in because she has to make it known that her husband advised against him doing that, to which Teresa shrieks “Oh my Gawwwd Heckel and Jyde!”  Juicy tells us his lawyer gave him a wonderful pep talk, “there’s a saying…you can indict a ham sandwich.”  So I guess this means Juicy’s future is about as secure as loose, fatty meat?

Teresa goes off the rails and starts bitching about how she asked her family not to speak about the legal problems on the show and they did anyway.  OHAC points out that he read about the legal woes in an “In Touch Weekly” magazine.  We still can’t quite decipher the difference between spilling your legal issues in print versus on television.  Teresa spouts off again “Am I speakin’ Chinese?”  Why yes, you stupid, stupid hag, you are because none of us can f*cking understand what your problem is.  Melissa points out how she would’ve preferred not to be called a stripper or a gold digger on television, but Teresa did so anyway, and now they are even.  Touché, girl with the gold, glittery eyelids.

Jacs decides to bring up an old wound about Juicy claiming that Chris and Jacs met in Vegas, where she was a stripper.  Juice adds fuel to the fire by saying that Chris was also engaged when he met Jacs.  While she is still yelling he says “Your husbands are mo mos and that’s all, who cares!”  Her reply is “You piece of lowlife shit, I hope you go to jail.”  Something tells me, that may happen!

The house husbands join the stage, Joe Gorga hasn’t seen Teresa or Juicy in a year, not since the Posche fashion show.  We take a trip down memory lane and reflect on the time the men spent together.  Joe reflects on his relationship with Juicy and said they used to get along when they were younger, they were like cousins.  Then Juicy flipped the switch to the juicer.  Joe said Juicy started hating him because he succeeded in life and Juicy did not.  Burn Juice man, burn in the easy bake oven of hell!  We revisit the argument about the un-returned tools and Juicy launches into some weird story about jumping jacks and a $3000 piece of equipment he loaned to Joe.  I am about as interested as Jacs, as she inspects her hair for split ends.

We Talk about Joe being naked all the time and then we end up discussing Richie’s healthy erection.  Kathy called it “my alarm clock, like clockwork every morning!”  I threw up in my mouth for you, America.

OHAC asks Joe if the issues with Teresa existed before the show and he states they did, but Teresa says they spoke all the time.  I guess they were “tick as teeeves!” in Teresa’s mind.  Joe disagrees and says he actually came on the show in an attempt to become closer with her.  Chris tries to moderate, but Tre and Melissa get into it again.  Juicy tries to blast Melissa and asks how she really met Joe Gorga.  It’s Joe vs. the Joecano…Gorga goes ballistic, veins pop out of his neck, and he just starts railing Juicy… “You’re a joke, I laugh at you, ya’ bum!”  Juicy spouts back “yeah, pay your bills!”  Pot.  Kettle.  Black.

Jacs can’t let her own stripper rumor scandal go.  Jeez Jacs, why do you have to hog the spotlight on stripper rumors?  She keeps attacking Juicy about it and the slimy worm pole keeps turning.  Chris tries to set the record straight and says he met Jacs at a trade show in Chicago, but Juicy changes his tune, now Chris was engaged and was seeing Jacqueline and got caught.  He starts his usual murmuring “I don’t know, maybe I heard wrong, who cares!”  Kathy pipes in, asking why he brought it up if he didn’t know and he tells her to “go scratch”.  There’s a lot of screaming going back-and-forth and then Teresa accuses Caroline (who has been very quiet) of saying Jacs was a stripper.  Joe becomes annoyed, he doesn’t understand what the problem is with being a stripper and Chris doesn’t understand why they’re talking about strippers like they’re serial killers.  Actually, I think Charles Manson is more civilized than this pack of rabid howler monkies.

OHAC segues into Joe’s sordid stripper past with the Chippendales.  Joe openly admits to being a stripper for a year while he was in college in order to make money.  He went to college? says he wore an elephant G string and Teresa pipes up and said she found it in his drawer.  Jacs snaps out of her benzo haze and wrangles insult of the night with “yeah she was probably smelling it!”  Yeah…after he loaned it to Richie!  In case you need a visual:

OHAC asks Juicy if he regrets not supporting Teresa and Joe’s effort to mend the relationship.  He replies, and this is verbatim, “look, what family wants family to fight?  But they continue to fight.  They’re doing what they’re doing, he’s got the little thing, whatever thing it is, and you know, whatever, and that’s it, whaddaya gonna do?”  Not only is he a disgusting slug, he is an inarticulate one too!

OHAC asks Joe how he felt about seeing Juicy call Theresa at the “C” word on the show.  Joe says normally he would take a baseball bat to his head, however he felt nothing.  Juicy chimes in again, but can’t mutter anything intelligible.  Somehow he turns it around on Richie and accuses him of calling Teresa names and says the fact that Joe did not stick up for Teresa makes him a loser.  I see what he is doing…two, two, two insults in one!  At least he’s an efficient trailer turd!  Juicy makes some weird joke about Richie saying “better call security, somebody stole his shoulders.”  …the f*ck, Juicy?  Juicy and Richie start to go at it and the whole line of insult hurling is just off-the-wall.  Juicy then attacks him about not owning his own business, “You worked for EGG-ZON!”  Oy…a collective OY!

Chris has a moment to discuss his relationship with sister Dina.  He doesn’t really want to throw Teresa under the bus, but basically says he knows what Jacs experienced with Teresa and Teresa probably has something to do with his falling out with Dina.  Sidebar:  Dina has publicly maintained that their family feud has NOTHING to do with Teresa.  I think she may have cut them off until they are off the show, due to the way Dina left, being threatened by Danielle and all…ah…ancient history!  But until they are out of the public eye, no Grandma Wrinkles for YOU!  Joe tries to get Teresa to own up to what she has said and done, but she will not.  Then Joe looks straight at her, very soberly, and says “Teresa, you called my wife a stripper, your own father told me you did.”

DUN DUN DUN…

He says she “could have cut this out a long time ago” and he brings up the salon and her conduct at the fashion show, chasing Melissa into the bathroom and acting like she was all panic stricken.  Well Joe, in all fairness, her heart was beating 500!  She should have technically been dead…if only…

Joe tells Teresa he will forgive her right now, he tries to convince her that they could be a family again if she will just drop it and leave it alone.  Teresa plays the “you’re breaking mommy and daddy’s heart” card and Joe about loses his shit, he’s about ready to break down and cry, reminiscent of the ill-fated christening.  He says Teresa took mom and dad away from him and his children.  It gets ugly, Teresa turns to Juicy for support, screaming “tell him, tell him I didn’t do that”.  But no support exists in the disgusting tub o’ shit she calls hubby.  She keeps screaming and then both Joes blow… “F*ck you…no f*ck YOU!  You shut the f*ck up…no YOU shut the f*ck up!”  Teresa says that she never talks about Joe to her parents and Jacs screams “YES YOU DO!” and Teresa has her Mothra moment.  She gets up and lunges toward her, luckily OHAC breaks it up before Teresa goes into a full blind rage.  There is more screaming and Jacs pulls a Whitney Houston and yells “KISS MY ASS!”  Teresa says “kiss my titties”, well because that is just such an appropriate, well thought out, intelligent retort!

Now let’s get down to crux of why we all sat through the last 45 excruciating minutes…Strippergate (a.k.a. – at least there is no pachyderm undergarment involved here).

Kim D. is brought out to clear this up once and for all.  Caroline says “oh dear God” and Melissa says “I smell shit!”  Kim looks pretty Botoxed up, her mouth is a hot mess, and she has two glassy, slightly lazy eyes.  I guess she is a “mastermind on crack” of sorts…

Before Kim can answer questions, Joe apologizes to her for how he treated her, which she appreciates.  Plus, it gets her to fold like the blubber on Juicy’s gut…she admits she had a beef with Melissa, something about Melissa promoting another shop that has the same name as her shop.  How is “Forever 21” similar to “Posche”?  When the gang tries to conclude it was a set-up, Kim doesn’t quite see it that way, she calls it “convenient”.

Well, isn’t that conveeeeeeeenient?”

Hey Kim, this is convenient too, it doesn’t mean it’s a good idea:

This crazy crack-house rat has been bumpin’ more rails than Stevie Wonder driving down the freeway.

Kim admits that Teresa knew something was going to go down and Melissa was the target, but she covers Teresa just enough by saying Teresa didn’t know exactly what it was about.  Kim also says everyone knew except for Melissa and Kathy.  Teresa brings up the mystery texts Jacs was receiving that night and OHAC asks the million dollar question, who was texting Jacs?  She will not reveal her source and Teresa calls her a calculating witch.  Juicy can’t take anymore and he tells Teresa he wants to go have dinner, he gives her the “oh come on, I love you” and kisses her.  All for the camera, no doubt, but I have to agree with him on this point, I’ve had enough!

Teresa has another Mothra moment and she starts screaming that she never called Melissa a stripper.  Melissa is done with her, she says “have a relationship with your brother if you want, but I will never look at you again!”  Regardless of what is true here, I have a hard time believing that Teresa didn’t know what was going to go down at the fashion show.  Even if she didn’t, she knew something was up based on the incident at the salon that same day.  She could have given Melissa a heads up.  Oh, but wait, that would mean she actually has to give a f*ck about her sister in law.  Teresa digs her hole deeper an tops it off by calling Melissa “contrived” (big word, Tre!) and says she learned a lot in that strip club!  …as a bartender, of course!

Before the men leave, OHAC asks Joe if he will ever mend things with Teresa.  He isn’t so sure and Teresa gives an Oscar worthy performance about how she only wants the best for them.

OHAC has an arm Full of Teresa’s bronzing glitter from trying to hold her back.  Teresa says she lost her voice, OHAC says he lost his hearing.  I have lost my patience and I think Bravo should shit can the lot of them.  OHAC asks what happens next and Mama Manzo waxes philosophical… “the only way to heal is to admit the truth and admit your wrongs.  Where there is love there is hope and you don’t have this much pain without love.”  Ugh…there’s a book there somewhere, you heard it here first.

Until then, the Gorgas and Goo-duh-chays will remain torn apart, just like Juicy’s arsehole will be when he hits the slammer.  Soap on a rope, my good man, soap on a rope!  Until the ATL premieres, I finally get a break from this madness.  I have never, ever been so happy to hit “Delete” on my TiVo.  PEACE!

15 Minutes of Figurative Fame…44 Minutes of Real Shame

It’s round two with the bat shit crazy bitches from Jersey, hang on to your wigs and keys, it’s going to be a bumpy finger wavin’ ride.  We pick up where we left off, brass knuckle Rosie is going ape shit, “rip her head off…cut her effing tongue out”, etc.  Kathy and Teresa continued to go at it on stage and backstage, Lap Band Lauren talks Rosie off the ledge.  She reminds our fair Rosie to keep it together so she can make her father proud.

Melissa finally puts her fury on display and she lets Teresa have it, screaming at her about playing victim.  We are only into this hot ass mess about four minutes and the crazy train is completely off the rails.  OHAC finally gets some semblance of control back and he says he was trying to steer the discussion in a positive direction and he welcomes brass knuckle Rosie to the stage.

We reflect on Rosie’s struggles throughout the season, and we learn that Kathy didn’t have issue with Rosie’s sexual preference, however, she was concerned with an opportune-id-ist-dic female Rosie encountered along her bedazzled pathway to stardom.  As soon as Rosie tries to explain her differences with Kathy, Teresa butts in and it escalates to more yelling.  Overall, our beloved Rosie endured the pain and struggle, but she is in a good place and she’s “real single”.

We reflect on the RV trip to Napa and toast-gate, where Teresa intentionally snubbed Kathy.  Teresa denies it was intentional and Kathy apologizes for calling Teresa’s mother a liar.  Teresa moves back to her side of the couch as a symbol of accepting Kathy’s apology.  Because just saying “I accept your apology” is not dramatic enough, and hell, she needs to show off that hideous green pageant frock.

Speaking of apologies, Caroline explains that She won’t accept Teresa’s apology because it’s insincere. Teresa doesn’t understand, Carolyn explains “you called me a C!”  To which Teresa replies, “well what do you want, I was drinking wine, what’s wrong with that?”  Knowing Teresa, she is asking what’s wrong with drinking wine, not what’s wrong with calling Caroline a vile word that isn’t even in Juicy’s vocabulary!  More on that later…

We moved onto the subject of Caroline bullying Teresa.  Teresa regrets the way she treated Danielle now that she is feeling the heat of Mama Manzo’s wrath.  Caroline asks Teresa about 48 times to give her one example of how she bullied her, however Teresa’s only answer is “the whole season, the whole season!”  Hey Manzo, a punk bully is a bully is a bully!

The subject changes to Teresa being hurt about Melissa and Kathy joining the show without telling her.  Carolyn tries to turn the tables and ask “how do you think I felt when I saw you with my sister Dina?”  OHAC asks Caroline what the status is of her relationship with Dina and Caroline reveals they are still not speaking.

We turn to the much more important subject of Melissa’s singing career and the fact that Teresa still doesn’t believe that Melissa can actually sing and she lip-synchs all of her performances.  When put on the spot Melissa sings a verse from her God-awful “How Many Times”, but that’s still not good enough for asshole Teresa, she wants her to sing the whole song.  I beg of you Melissa, for the love of finger pointing, do not sing any further.  Teresa says she can sing too and she breaks out into her own version of “On Display”.  Carolyn can hardly contain her laughter and the look on Melissa’s face is priceless.  Then like a snot filled Kleenex, Jacs starts becoming soggy and lilted and she puts her head down and pretends to go to sleep.  Melissa takes a potshot at Teresa’s cooking skills claiming her mother cooks the food and Teresa just tweets the photos of it, taking all the credit.  In order to refute this, Teresa starts yelling for the crew to bring her various meats so she can demonstrate her cooking skills.

OHAC asks Melissa why she is selling her home and she admits she doesn’t want her kids going to school with Teresa’s daughters.  She can see how this legacy of evil is festering and she doesn’t want Antonia to be ganged up on by the Goo-duh-chay girls.  Hell, Milania is the one to watch…that kid is going to grow up to be a bail bondsman.

We flash back to the gold digger comments and Melissa goes off on Teresa again.  Melissa tries to address the old rumors about her speaking to Danielle and admits she was mad at Teresa and she took the bait.  Somehow, out of this, Teresa claims Melisa wrote “On Display” about her.  Teresa claims that she let go of the grudge she was holding against Melissa and Kathy for coming on the show.  Melissa points out the only reason she let it go was because she didn’t have Caroline and Jacs in her corner anymore.  Teresa’s response is to genuflect in front of the Home Goods coffee table and perform a praise Jesus move.

Juicy Joe joins the mix and as he is being prepped for the camera, he eradicates a few boogers and slams a red bull.  This pile o’ steaming hillbilly turds just oozes class.  OHAC eases into his line of questioning before the one two punch about the phone call heard ‘round the world.  But alas…the Goo-duh-chay family code of honor, “Deny, Deny, Deny” will not be broken!  He admits he shouldn’t have called her the “C” word, heck that word “isn’t even in my vocabulary.”  Ummm…except when it is, you intolerable douche nozzle.  He maintains that he was talking to a co-worker and he started speaking Spanish because the co-worker allegedly put the pizza guy on the phone who only spoke Spanish.  Oh well, that clears it up!  But wasn’t he speaking Italian???

He tells OHAC that the airing of the clip where he called Teresa names cost him a lot of money at the jewelry store in order to make it up to her.  Apparently, the jewelry store in Franklin Lakes, NJ takes Monopoly money?  OHAC asks Juicy how he feels about Teresa “bringing home his bacon”, which he denies she does.  Teresa says they both make their own money “my money is my money and his money is my money.”  Good to know the Teresa brain trust is hard at work managing the finances.  That will come in handy when that tub o’ goo she calls a husband is in the clink.

Jacs is asked to weigh in on the Goob-duh-choy marriage and she doesn’t want to “go there”, but with a little bit o’ needling from Teresa, Jacs finally blows.  She says the Goop-doo-f*cks call each other names all the time and they punch each other.  Teresa has caught Juicy cheating many times with the secretary and the babysitter, heck Tre even confided in our girl Jacs when she caught him with a woman on his desk.  I.  Just.  Threw.  Up.  In.  My.  Mouth.  On.  Behalf.  Of.  Everyone.  In.  America.

More screaming ensues, Teresa calls Melissa an “opportune-id-ist”.  Melissa labels Tre and Juicy “dumb and dumber”, Juicy asks “Why am I here?” and he tops it off with a chunky belch.  Again, oozing class, this guy is.

Next week Teresa turns into Mothra shrieking in her outdoor irrational skank voice.  Part three looks like a real barnburner!

Mean Girls

It’s reunion time!  The drama, the heartbreak, the tears, and oooh the ruthless name-calling.  Jacs showed up this year ready to put Teresa on blast, but she was not without her share of snot filled Kleenex.  OHAC (Our Host Andy Cohen), greets the ladies, Teresa, so proud of her three cookbooks, Melissa with her auto-tune songs all over the iTunes chart, Carolyn with her longer hair and a book coming soon, and Kathy…well Kathy and her rearranged face.  Let’s face it, part one of the reunion was one hot ass mess of epic proportion, let’s hit the low lights:

Jacs discusses why she did not attend the reunion last year and Mama Manzo talks over her the entire time.  I guess Jacs’ answers don’t meet with Mama Manzo’s standards, or she is just being an asshole.  More on that later…Carolyn explains she was terrified for our little Jac’s, her guttural sobs on the way home from the fashion show had her extremely worried and she was not in the reunion state of mind.

Teresa is still denying any involvement with the fashion show fiasco but Jacs insists not only was Teresa involved, but she tried to get Jacs to participate.  Teresa continues with her delusional mudslinging trying to blame Jacs for ruining her family.  I want some of what Teresa is smoking, she is just off the chain horrid.

OHAC asks Teresa if she has seen anyone since the Posche blow up and she said she had only seen Melissa at G to the ia’s birthday party.  Then she goes on to bash Melissa for RSVP-ing via Hollywood.com and therefore only showed up for publicity.  Melissa give her truth version which was that she attended a red carpet event the same day of the party and when asked by Hollywood.com if she had seen Teresa she expressed that she would be seeing her at the birthday party later that day.  Jacs brings up a little nugget about Teresa assaulting Melissa in the parking lot at the birthday party when Melissa was leaving, but of course, Teresa denies that too.

Jacs attempts to answer some questions regarding the bankruptcy with Chris’ apparel line and she points out the contrast between her bankruptcy and Teresa’s.  Teresa immediately interrupts her and Mama Manzo quips back “Please let her talk if you’re not to let anyone talk, then we may as well all go home…please let me go home. I’m hungry.”  Amen sister, me too!

At this point, we’re 17 minutes in to this train wreck and if we were playing a drinking game where we took a guzzlette of our cocktail every time the phrase “You’re LYING” was uttered, we would all be completely gacked right now.  Melissa and Teresa start to go at it and Jacs pretends to be drunk asleep again.

The hideous display takes a serious turn and we spend a bit of time talking about Jacs’ son Nicholas and his struggles with autism.  In a very touching moment, we see footage of Nicholas saying “I love you”.  Jacs is sobbing hysterically because Nicholas has regressed and has stopped speaking.  Carolyn sobs as well and assures her that he will say “I love you” again.  Now this is a real problem people, not the stupid meatball problems that Theresa keeps yammering on about.

Sidebar:  I can’t take Kathy’s face, I can deal with the nose job, but the lips are botched.  She must have gone to the same plastic surgeon that Jacs used.

The discussion continues about Nicholas and Teresa blurts out something bizarro about how Nicholas was Audriana’s boyfriend and they broke up.  Mama Manzo tells her to shut up and stop making it about her or she’ll go berserk, “You and your Christmas pageant dress just shut the f*ck up.”

We reflect on the footage where Jacs and Teresa fake make up and Jacs tells us that later that night she heard Teresa through the window of her RV saying “I hate Jacqueline I can’t even look at her effin’ face!”  Teresa asks who she was saying this to and without hesitation, Melissa says “You said it to ME!”  It must be so glorious to go through life saying so many rotten things that you can’t even remember them or have any remorse.  Ahh denial…the new heroin.

Our Host Analyst Andy wants to probe deeper into the root of the horrible Jacs/Tre rift.  Jacs finally loses it and starts screaming at Teresa about how she wanted Jacs to do all her dirty work call Melissa out about being a stripper and call Kathy out for not having a designer handbag until she was 40 and for living in a shitty house.  Wow, those are worthwhile goals.

OHAC reads a viewer question for Mama Manzo, which calls her a “bitter ginger with a twist of lemon face.”  Mama Manzo owns up and takes a little heat for her general rotten demeanor this season and cops to being a little bit bitchy.  OHAC brings out Caroline 2.0 in the form of a slimmed down Lauren.  She discusses her lap band surgery and says she still has to work hard.  She is actually a bit ahead of her progress in the wardrobe department because her dress is a bit small and she is about to pull a Britney when she sits down.  They discuss Caroline’s constant negative talk toward Lauren this season, specifically calling her an “asshole”.  Caroline admits, “Lauren was acting like an asshole and if she did it again, I would say it again.”  Okay, at least she is consistent???

Teresa answers a question about Caroline’s kids and says “well now they have black water, but before they like, didn’t have jobs.”  Carolyn looks like a stunned mouse in a Dixie cup and then just goes off the rails on Christmas pageant dress.  Teresa goes for the low blow of the night and says “look at your rolls, blubber, blubber, blubber.”  Then Teresa adds “Archeologist” to her repertoire and she spews some nonsense about Carolyn having a tummy tuck, which Carolyn reveals she did at 39.  Talk about slinging ancient history, Carolyn just turned 51.

Lauren brings up the fact that Teresa wrote in her blog that she feels sorry for Lauren because of the way Caroline talks to her, but Lauren says she feels sorry for Teresa’s kids.  Which let’s face it, these kids are headed for poles and clear heels in their future.  Lauren goes off about Teresa not even writing her own blog and then the gauntlet is thrown down, “SPELL NAPALM” she shouts.  Teresa looks horrified, she can’t spell it and she can’t define it.  She doesn’t write her own blog, which doesn’t surprise me because she can’t even speak her “unscripted” lines.

OHAC brings up the tabloid Teresa apology and the ladies are unrelenting.  Melissa yells at Teresa to “turn around, I’m tired of looking at your weave!”  Teresa denies having extensions on and Jacs says “yes you do, you wore them last year!”  This is Teresa’s moment to shine, she screams about how everyone is obsessed with her and they want to be her.  She then accuses Melissa of copying her, once again, by wearing the same glitter eye shadow she wore last year. Carolyn looks astounded and about to crack up “oh yes they only made one pot of that eye shadow and then they discontinued it!”  Melissa is mortified and can’t even believe what she is hearing, she says “I wore this glitter eye shadow list year, you Whackadoo!”

The conversation turns to Kathy and Richie and then we flash back to some of the many insults Richie has delivered about Teresa.  The convo turns to Richie versus Juicy Joe and who could pick up more chicks.  Teresa is gagging over the thought of Richie and his yellow teeth and thinks Juicy could pick up more women, hands down.  Jacs slips in a wee li’l dig “well that’s been proven.”  As if anyone would want anything to do with either of those hillbilly butt nuggets.

Kathy and Teresa start going at it, there’s a lot of yelling, and then Teresa throws something out about Kathy and her in-laws, almost a divorce, Teresa heard that from her mother, and then Kathy calls Teresa’s mother a f*cking liar.  Teresa moves over to the other couch next to Caroline and Mama Manzo takes a moment to try and prove a point to Teresa about how comments can hurt people and that the 15 minutes of fame is going to be gone before she knows it.  Teresa can’t stop herself and she keeps slinging mud at Kathy, finally delivering the lowest of the low “my father was there for you more than your own father!”  Kathy goes ape shit over this comment about her late father and then we hear brass knuckle Rosie yelling backstage “I will rip her f*cking had off, I swear to Christ she better watch her f*cking tongue because I’ll cut it right the f*ck out.  I don’t care if I get locked up!”

Wow.  Just.  Wow.  The crazy train is careening out of control and that was only part one.  Kathy’s uncharacteristic outbursts and facial reconstruction reek of the hopes of a contract renewal, but OHAC should shit can all of these horrid assholes.  Next week looks like it’s going to get a little bit juicy (pun intended).  Juicy Joe on the hot seat about his indiscretions and it looks like Melissa finally blows and plays the victim card.