Queenage Dream

First we must note  that JHO is dressed like C3PO and she has MC Hammer pants.  These are the same pants she had on last year when she performed.  I sure hope another performance is not in store for tonight, it’s more than my little heart can take.

I also understand that OHRS was extremely ill the night of this show, but what a trooper.  I bet that damn Brian Dunkleman released germs into Ryan’s hyperbaric chamber, hoping to get his “gig” back.  It’s Queen tribute night and we are treated to a flashback retrospective of the band, Freddie Mercury’s unitards, his unique singing voice, his guyliner, and his commanding stage prowess.

Brian May and Roger Taylor sit down with the idols to discuss how they can pull these songs off.  I love that no matter how wiry and grey Brian May’s hair has gotten, he has not surrendered his rock and roll mullet.

They start the show with a medley performed by the top six.  They muddle through it all, but the real star of the medley is Brian May with his guitar solo.  DAWG gives them a Wayne’s World style “we’re not worthy” bow.

First performance will be a Queen song and the second performance is contestant choice.  BB Chez is up first, taking on “Bohemian Rhapsody”, tough song for even the most talented singers.  I am not sure how to address the special effects here, she is in black and white and the background singing faces are all of BB Chez, creepy at best.

She breaks out into the rock part, she is in full color, she does the fandango, the tempo changes quickly, then it slows down.  There is no good way to sing the song in 90 seconds without hacking up the arrangement, which made it sound completely disjointed.  Throwaway performance.  Let’s see what our panel of esteemed judges thinks…Steven thinks rock is not her forte, but she was good.  JHO said she sounded beautiful, but the rock part was not there.  DAWG noted that she didn’t sing any runs, but he thought it was great and told her to channel some Tina Turner.

For her second performance, she chooses “Dance With My Father”.  It’s a typical Jessica performance, but she added the wind machine.  JHO starts the judging by saying it’s the best version of that song she has heard on the show.  Steven says she can’t ever sing bad, it’s a “joy, pleasure, and an honor” to watch her.  DAWG loved it too and can’t find a thing wrong with it.

Skylar will sing “The Show Must Go On”.  She actually did a really good job with it, Steven called it “over the top”, JHO got goosies and thought it was powerful and great, DAWG called it “incredible” and one of her best performances to date.  He brings back his phrase “she’s gotta have it!”

Her second performance is “Tatoos on This Town”, it’s in her “wheelhouse” and she sounds good.  DAWG is a “ginourmous fan” and thought it was great, JHO wants her to keep “wowing”, and Steven gives it a “ditto”, but said he missed some of the “flair”.

Mantasia takes on “Crazy Little Thing Called Love”, he puts a bit of a big band, throwback vibe on it, of course he gets a standing O from the judges, but JHO is a little slow on the take.  The bucket of concrete in her hammer pants must be weighing her down.  DAWG gives him “four checks” for all areas of his performance and calls him a “Sam Cooke, Wilson Pickett young dude in the making”.  JHO looks forward to his performance because they surprise her and are always inspiring.  Steven says he sounds like nobody else and says Freddie would have loved it.  OHRS notes that the security guards were even dancing.

His second performance is “Ready For Love”.  Again, a standing O from the judges and a flawless performance.  Steven actually turns around and encourages the audience to scream more.  DAWG is speechless and calls it “unbelievable, crazy good”.  JHO is also speechless and calls it “transcendent”, Steven says it takes him to another place and says he can “smell the finish line”.  Wonder what that smells like, pennies and feet?

Elise sings “I Want it All”.  JHO is rockin’ out, but Elise looks a bit somber after her performance.  Steven enjoyed it “over the top”, JHO thought she was in her element, DAWG thought it was unbelievable and the song was so right for her, one of her best.  Elise says this was really her “wheelhouse”.  There is that damn word again.

Her second song is “Bold as Love”, she has an interesting scarf thingie that is attached to her ring and the back of her dress.  She does a half-singing, half-talking performance, it’s not great and I’m guessing she will be on the stools of death.  The judges have an interesting reaction, Steven doesn’t even applaud.  He liked the Jimmy Hendrix song, but she has to do songs that people know… “you can’t pick the cherries with your back to the tree”.  Elise is stunned, she thought everyone knew the song.  JHO didn’t care because she thought Elise “slayed that song”, DAWG is a fan of her and Hendrix, but it wasn’t right and he did not love it.  JHO keeps saying “NO, NO, NO” as OHRS creeps on to the stage to wrap up this insanity.

Dave Matthews is up next with “Fat Bottomed Girls”.  I am not sure this was the best song for him, but it’s definitely different than his usual style.  Steven launches into a “bigger the cushion…”, but he stops himself, then JHO takes offense that he is looking at her.  He loved it and so did JHO.  She was glad to see a different side of him that didn’t remind everyone of Dave Matthews.  DAWG is being “really honest” and said he didn’t love it, but it was good.

Determined to remind everyone that he is exactly like Dave Matthews, Phillip selects an obscure Dave Matthews song, “The Stone”.  He delivers a way too literal version and the judges don’t look thrilled.  Steven thought it was entertaining and off the wall, he loved the female fiddler, of course he did.  JHO thought it was too obscure and artsy, she tells him there will be a time and place for that.  DAWG disagrees somewhat and likes his artist side.  It spoke to him “a hundred million percent”.  OHRS embarrasses his girlfriend, saying she sighed, blushed, and said “yummy” when she saw Phillip backstage.  They cut to a shot of Julianne Hough laughing and she has no clue she is on camera.  When she figures it out, she dives behind some equipment with her ginourmous purse.  It must be what she carries around OHRS in.

Hollie is singing “Save Me”, which is an emotional ballad, I am not sure she is pulling it off.  Her robotic Celine Dion ways just aren’t cuttin’ it.  If you ever hear the original song, Freddie conveys this feeling of just being absolutely broken.  Little Hollie is too young and inexperienced to connect to the song.  Just my humble opinion…Steven thought she did a good job, JHO struggles to find her words, but doesn’t feel she connected or enjoyed it.  She does give Hollie some good constructive criticism about performing.  DAWG didn’t feel she had a “moment” with the song.

Her second attempt is “The Climb”, it will chronicle her climb over to the stools of death.  I think Hollie and Elise may be in trouble this week.  She actually redeems herself on this one and she receives a standing O.  DAWG says “Hollie is back!”, JHO thought she really stepped it up, and Steven thought she sang it like it was “going outta style.”

Time for results where “another one bites the dust”.  First to face their fate is BB Chez and Elise.  Jimmy felt the “Bohemian Rhapsody” was a mistake and the creepy faces of Jessica in the background scared him too.  Glad I wasn’t the only one.  He felt her second performance was much better and she understood her audience.  Jimmy also thought Elise made bad choices, he felt like he was “in a nightclub somewhere in the back of beyond”.  That’s where Elise was performing before she auditioned for the show.  It was a “double down” on bad choices of the night.  OHRS announces Jessica is in the top three and he sends Elise to the stools of death.

OHRS has Casey Abrams on hand when he returns and Casey is sporting a full on frizzed out do.  Stefano is back to perform and it’s almost like something I wish I could un-see.  It’s beyond cheezie, he really belongs in a boy band or on a Carnival cruise ship.

Hollie and Mantasia are up next and Jimmy comments that Hollie may have chosen “Save Me” as a subconscious plea to the audience.  She redeemed herself with the second song.  Jimmy was impressed with Joshua and sees him making it to the final.  Hollie is sent to join Elise and Joshua goes to safety.

Sidebar:  I never thought I would see the day where Steven Tyler was hawking Burger King.  Wow…just…wow, it is the end of civilization as we know it.

Another quick sidebar on the Katy Perry performance:  The performance was military themed with nigh vision camera work, good shout out to BB Chez’ dad who is shipping out the next day.  Also, Katy Perry can’t sing live, she sounded terrible without auto tune.  Although, we have to give her props for not lip-synching.

Next up are Skylar and Dave Matthews.  Jimmy thought Skylar did a good job and was confident, but he felt the second song was indulgent.  Jimmy revealed that Phillip has also not been feeling well and it’s taking a toll on him.  He felt that the Dave Matthews song choice was a mistake, but he enjoyed seeing the judges disagree so he didn’t fall asleep.  OHRS sends Skylar to the final stool of death and Phillip goes to the couches.  He summons Hollie and Elise back up and sends Skylar back to safety.  The lights dim and Elise bites the dust.  Hollie gets one more chance, but my guess is it will be short lived.  Elise looks a bit shocked, but she actually got to do some pretty cool stuff throughout her journey and OHRS reminds her that Stevie Nicks wanted to hire her.  She sings us out with her Led Zepplin song and JHO rocks it out with full on stank face.

Mixed feelings, while I knew she wouldn’t win, I really thought Hollie had hit the end of the road.  See y’all next week, when that will likely happen.

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