You Don’t Know Shi!t About My DO!

We pick up right where we left off with the final part three of the reunion, which did not disappoint.  The insults were hurled through the air with blatant disregard for direction like a drunken shot-putter.  Let’s begin:

Mystery Date:  Is she a mistress or a whore?  Kim tries to defend her relationship with Big Papa and she maintains that he was legally married, but going through a divorce, much like Miss Nene.  Cynthia decides this is her moment and she goes ballistic on Kim.  “Cynthia is so big and bad, Cynthia’s got a backbone!”, Kim shouts along with a little dance in her seat, while Cynthia continues to scream like a cat on a waffle iron.

Sugar Mama:  Kandi says that she thought Marlo’s comment about Kandi taking care of men was humorous because she admits she is way too cheap to do that.  They get into it and Marlo incites ugly Kandi.  She goes off and shuts Marlo down like a tilt-o-whirl with missing parts, “YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT MY DO!” 

Nene jumps in to try and calm Marlo down and OHAC notes that Nene has been a peace maker when it comes to Marlo.  She says Marlo is like her little sister, a “Baby Nene” of sorts.  Kandi sums up the segment by saying “I don’t give a damn, if I wanted to take care of every motherf*ucker in here…I COULD!”  Damn strait…’nuff said.

Out of Africa:  We revisit the bat shit crazy fight between Marlo and She by Shereé.  OHAC asks what the fight was about and Marlo brings up the lack of invitation to the dinner party that She by Shereé’s friend was hosting.  She by Shereé explains that it was a planned sit-down dinner party and Marlo cannot believe that She by Shereé’s gay man-friend would object to the fabulous Marlo attending the party, “he would have pulled up a seat for me!”  Yes Marlo, right after you told She by Shereé to go hang out with her mo-fo-ing f*ggots!

She by Memory Lane:  We take a trip down memory lane to revisit She by Shereé’s deplorable behavior and we are treated to the infamous “wig-snatch” attempt she made on Kim early in her housewives career. 

And who could forget screaming at the party planner “who gon’ check me, Boo?”  “Eat me darlin’!”  Screaming at Nene in a restaurant “you better get your mo-fo-ing teeth fixed…wasn’t your car repoed?  Repoed at the Home Depot?”  And then there’s the Marlo fight, who could forget these two going at it like two feral cats in a pillowcase?  OHAC questions She by Shereé about that fight in particular and she admits that she has no memory of the fight with Marlo because she gets black-out angry.  Sounds like Drita from Mob Wives, she claims the same thing, she blacks out while she’s pummeling a bitch on the bar room floor.  Well She by Shereé, since you have left the show…we bid you adieu and thanks for the memories!

Freaky Friday:  OHAC discusses how it seems like Kim and Nene have swapped places.  Nene used to be happily married while Kim was dating Big Papa and now Kim is the settled married woman and Nene is a free agent accepting lavish gifts from her new Big Papa John the greezy pizza dude.  OHAC tries to hint around that Nene should feel a bit uncomfortable accepting the gifts from John, but Nene doesn’t see the problem with it.  In the next breath, she agrees that it has made her uncomfortable.  But hey…what’s a little uncomfortable moment in exchange for a new Rolex?  OHAC asks Nene how much “contact, contact” they have, Nene pleads a deft fifth.

Everything Happens for a Reason:  Nene discusses how she had been an actress well before the show and she was responsible for bringing Kim and She by Shereé to the show.  Nene reveals that she went to bat for She by Shereé because the producers thought she was boring.  She by Shereé maintains that she got season one “jumped off”.  She by Shereé and Nene argue a bit more, but Kim expresses that she is very grateful to Nene for thinking of her for the show and without it, she never would have met Kroy and had KJ.  We wind it up with a Kumbaya “everything happens for a reason”.

We conclude with OHAC gifting the girls some respective tee shirts that say “I’m a TALL” or “I’m a SMALL”.  Kim says “I’m not that small” and we see OHAC drooling over her breasts just hankerin’ for an invitation to motorboat.

Overall, it was a ho-hum season, it ain’t the same without the adventures of Kim and Nene, but these two do not appear to be on the road to repairing their friendship.  And with that we will migrate for the season to the housewives who are headed to the Jersey Shore…

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