You Gotta Get Low to Get High

It’s the top seven tonight performing some current songs from today and some older soul songs of yesteryear.  The judges enter and JHO has taken quite a few liberties with her dress tonight.  It’s spray painted on and there are some crazy side cut outs that show off her marvelous abs, but if anyone can pull that off, she can.  I can usually spot an Herve Leger when I see it, but I am not sure who designed this.  I am sure it will be all over “The Fashion Police” this Friday night.

OHRS kicks off the night by acknowledging the passing of Dick Clark.  But OHRS knows Dick would want the show to go on, so without further ado we proceed to the festivities.  Each contestant is doing two songs and little Hollie is kicking it off with “Rolling in the Deep” by Adele.  Oy vey…why is everyone singing this song?  Jimmy is working with Hollie on her nerves, and the judges seem happy, Steven said she finally came out of her shell and she was perfect, JHO is thrilled, and DAWG said it was close to perfect, a bit pitchy, but she has finally “arrived”.

Her second performance of the evening was “Son of a Preacher Man”.  DAWG said she “dug in” and said she “worked it out”.  JHO liked the performance better than the first and said she is showing a new composure.  Steven says she has the vehicle, but thinks she can push it even more.  DAWG cries out “drive the car!”

Colton is next and OHRS brings up his sister Schyler, who Colton completely upstaged during the auditions, but she is fully supportive of him.  Never mind the Colton voodoo doll in her purse.  He is tackling “Bad Romance” by Lady Gaga.  Jimmy’s advice is to “look at the camera, when you look at the camera, they vote”.  If he’s referring to Colton’s rock star wannabe dead in the eyes stare, well Colton has that down pat.  He has also added a splashy red patch to his hair this week.  I am not a big Colton fan, but the judges sure seem to love him.  DAWG said he was “so in the zone”, JHO loved, and Steven said he needed “to get low to get high”, err?  “when you’re trying to get to the other shore, you gotta lose sight of this one”, etc.  Steven’s got his can o’ clichés out tonight.  Colton tells OHRS that he plans on “expanding his box every week, so I can include everyone in on the party.”  Sorry…no thanks.

His song for round two was “September” and he will give us his “signature stare”.  Steven dives on it and says that his voice is too powerful for the song, JHO agrees and said it didn’t come together, DAWG said it sounded good, but not too exciting.

Jimmy says Elise has a vacation home in the bottom three.  She is going to sing “No One” by Alicia Keys.  She’s got the wind machine on her side and for some reason she keeps squatting down while she sings.  She really should stand upright in her tangerine dream dress.

JHO got her first “goosies” of the night.  No JHO that is just a chill you got from wearing those massive cut outs in your dress.  Can the Fox Intern get JHO a Slanket?  Steven says that he loves her a lot and she sang her “little tushie off”.  DAWG thought she did great and appreciated that she stayed with the melody, which showed a great lesson in restraint.  OHRS grills her about her emotional rehearsal and she reveals that she found out that her dog is sick and may not make it.  Way to garner the sympathy vote.

For round two, Elise tries to get it on with “Let’s Get it On”.  She starts out on the Jimmy Iovine make-out chaise and delivers a typical Elise performance, slow-paced and in her hunched over stance.  The judges don’t look too pleased, JHO starts out and says she has a hard time critiquing her and wants to see more emotion.  Steven thought it showed versatility and broke a few more hearts, but take it up a notch.  JHO says it’s like “when you sang ‘Somebody to Love’ by Zepplin”…uh…JHO, that was “Whole Lotta Love” by Zepplin.  Not “Somebody to Love” by Queen.  Get it straight glamour girl.  DAWG felt she oversang it and he makes an error too and says when “Al Green sang that song”, but he corrects himself.  Elise over thinks her over thinking and she is having a hard time baring her soul in a minute and a half.  She gives OHRS a hug, which I have not noticed her do before.

Dave Matthews is singing “You Got It Bad” by Usher.  Should be interesting, Jimmy thinks he may pick up some new fans.  I actually enjoyed his performance, he did a great job…could it be a standing O?  YES indeedie, a standing O from the judges and I am sure Steven is thrilled to see the blonde saxophone player again.  Steven says he feels like a “chump”, he never knows what he’s going to get.  JHO jumps in and calls it “so sexy” and loved his versatility, DAWG (in his snazziest lilac jacket) calls him a “true artist” and he is original.  He is Phil Phillips and he is “Da’ BOMB!”

“The Midnight Hour” is Phil’s second take and he really seems to be shining tonight.  DAWG loves it and says “exactly what you need, is always what you have”.  JHO wants to get up and dance with him and Steven calls him “brilliantly awkward.”

BB Chez is up next to show us what she’s got, other than a second chance.  Jimmy needs her to figure out where she disconnected with the audience.  She will sing “Fallin” by Alicia Keys.  She starts strong in her “I Dream of Genie” outfit and the whirling red umbrellas in the air are helping too.  She actually stands just fine on her own, no doubt the girl can sing.  The crowd goes WILD and Steven can’t even get his critique out.  He says she has the right to “get mad at that song”, JHO saw her vulnerability and said she played with the song like juggling ballz, err?  DAWG echoes and gives an AMEN for using the save and calls her talent “other worldly”.  DAWG then gives us his own medley with something like “Yo Alicia [Keys], holla at the DAWG man, the girl blew the box out of the song yo!”  OHRS asks her what she was thinking last week when JHO wrestled her to the ground and grabbed the mic.  Jessica thought she was going home, but she couldn’t have been more wrong.  What a ratings stunt that was.

Jessica also wants us to “Try a Little Tenderness”, although her voice was a bit more “Benson and Hedges” than tender.  Judges loved it, well, because they love Jessica.  Steven likes the fact that she’s “steppin’ out”, JHO felt BB Chez coming out, but she needs to start pushing so the audience can connect with her.  DAWG agreed with them “absolutely the correct”, she needs to connect with the emotion and the lyric.

Skylar is up next and Jimmy wants her to take it a step further.  She is doing the country version of “Born This Way” by Lady Gaga.  She does a good job and JHO is psyched, she loves her version and calls Skylar a “fighter”, Steven says she is giving the other girls a run for their money, DAWG also likes her crossover appeal and calls her “amazing, dude”.

Her second song is a Marvin Gaye classic “Heard it Through the Grapevine”, she puts her own country flair on it.  DAWG notes that she and Phillip have no problem connecting with the audience.  He calls it the “Skylar Laine Rock and Roll Country Party”.  JHO loves her spunkiness and Steven calls her “a wild horse that refuses to be tamed.”

“I Believe” by Fantasia will be sung by Mantasia.  Jimmy grills him about why he was in the bottom three and tells him to dig deep and sing his butt off.  He’s dressed like a straight up pimp and he delivers a standard Josh performance.  He gets the standard standing O and DAWG calls him one of the most gifted singers ever on the show.  He sees the mark of true growth by Josh’s restraint.  JHO said he leaves it all on the stage and she feels blessed to get to watch him.  Steven says he could sing the phone book, he is so good there’s just nothing to say anymore.  OHRS starts prompting Josh and asks him if singing Fantasia’s victory song was “foreshadowing” of his own victory and Josh awkwardly doesn’t answer him.  That’s the one thing Josh struggles with and if he wins, I am not sure how he will handle all the questions and attention.  Someone get this kid some media training, STAT.

Mantasia goes for round two with “A Change is Gonna Come”.  As always, love him and of course he gets a “slow on the take” standing O.  I think the judges have stood up so many times for him, they forget to.  Steven liked his restraint in the beginning and it really made it pop.  JHO says she still wants more and begs America to vote for him.  DAWG said the song was perfect and liked the way he let it “marinate”.  Joshua cops to staring at JHO’s abs the whole time he was singing.

Time for results…OHRS emerges from his hyperbaric chamber and descends the Hasbro’s slippery steps.  We start the night with an excruciatingly cheezy group number of “Dancin’ in the Street”.  Thank goodness for DVR and fast forward.

Besties, Mantasia and Hollie are up first.  Jimmy commented that Josh stayed in his “sweet spot” and Hollie also came out of her shell, but does predict that Hollie may be in the bottom three.  OHRS discusses how Josh almost didn’t come to Hollywood because he was afraid to fly, could it be “foreshadowing” again?  It seems like there is always some “twist of fate” story with some of our past winners.  They try out on a fluke or didn’t even intend to audition.  At any rate, Josh is safe and little Hollie is sent to the stools of death.

Skylar and Elise are called center stage and Jimmy felt Skylar delivered, but Elise fell flat.  He predicts Elise will return to her vacation home in the bottom three.  OHRS discusses how hard the judges are on Elise and she gets a moment to vent before he sends her to the stools of death, but not without another hug first.  Skylar is sent to safety.  OHRS seems to like Elise, she is the only one he hugs.  Maybe because they are close in hyperbaric age.

Dave Matthews, Colton, and BB Chez are called up.  We are treated to some back stage footage of Phillip’s reaction to JHO thinking he is sexy.  He says “hey what’s your number, does your daddy let you date?”  With JHO it’s more like “does your son let you date?”  No, Phillip, Casper the friendly ghost does not let JHO date.  Jimmy comments about Jessica singing songs that are too old for her and that could be why the audience is not connecting.  He thought Phillip and Colton came out on opposite sides.  Jessica is sent to safety along with Phillip and Colton is not safe.  He brings up Hollie and Elise and we have the bottom three.  OHRS takes Elise’s hand and walks her towards the stools of death in another lame fake out.  Annnnd…she gets another hug from OHRS and she is safe!  He is such a germophobe and he doesn’t touch anybody, this is amazing.  OHRS announces that Hollie is safe and the one going home is COLTON.

Yes, really.

I can’t say that I’m surprised or disappointed, I was not a big fan of his.  His performance last night was not great and I find him to be too big for his skinny rocker jeans.  Colton takes a moment to apologize to the audience because he was not himself last night and when he makes a record he will take the judges advice.  In a completely histrionic Colton moment, he gets on his knees to sing his last song on the Idol stage.  He is what Simon Cowell would call “highly affected.”

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