Waste of an Outfit and a Wig

We open with Kim squawking on her cell phone to She by Shereé about her impending lunch with Cynthia to re-hash black baby-gate.  Kim says that Cynthia has brass balls when she is around Nene, but then no spine without her.  She by Shereé agrees and further fuels the fire.  Meanwhile, in totally scripted moment a highly unlikely coincidence, Cynthia is on the phone with Nene for a gut check coaching sesh.  It’s all the Smalls fault, they tattled and told Kim everything, Kim will play the victim and then talk about you like a DAWG.  Nene basically gives Cynthia a license to put Kim on epic blast, but again we know that won’t happen because Cynthia backs down when she doesn’t have Nene by her side.

The lunch meeting is awkward to say the least.  Cynthia starts in on how it’s a “you said, I said” battle and at least Kim cops to saying dumb shit all the time.  Cynthia is quick to agree on that, but our dear Kim just can’t seem to let go of the black baby.  Ironic, she was accused of never wanting to hold a black baby, and now she can’t seem to extract her claws from the “black baby” (figuratively speaking…of course).

Cynthia reiterates that she does not feel Kim is racist and apologizes again.  Kim calls her out about acting differently around Nene and Cynthia takes the opportunity to broach the Kim vs. Nene debacle, but Kim says it will not happen.  She adds that maybe after five years of therapy Nene can admit fault like grown ass woman.  They each order a pretty sizeable lunch, which is unusual for the typical staged Bravo standoffs.  Usually they order a drink, slam it, put their fingers in each others faces, and bolt.  But not these two, Cynthia ordered “The BIG salad” and Kim had a deep fried plate of everything.

Kim agrees to hug it out, but hopes Cynthia doesn’t spring a “friend contract” on her.  Now that would really ruin her day.  They briefly discuss a possible double date, but Kim doubts Kroy will go for that.  I think at this juncture, we have put the black baby to bed.  We really need to, it’s way past the baby’s bedtime.

Nene is visiting LA to meet with the creators of Glee.  Acting is her new bag and she’s ready for her Oscar.  Talk about putting the cart before the horse.  Her assistant Andre is workin’ her nerves and it’s obvious this is already going to her head.  She is one step and repeat away from throwing her cell phone at Andre’s head.

Kroy visits Joe to ask for his permission to propose to Kim.  Joe is spray painting some wooden shelving unit with hearts cut out on the side.  It’s very “Little House on the Prairie”.  After Kroy’s question, Joe has various questions “are you fully committed?”, “will you take care of Kim and the girls for lifetime?”  Kroy will be committed and Kim and the girls will live off of his football money, yes.  Joe is thrilled to welcome Kroy to the family and I am sure he is happy that the big papa curse is lifted.  Kroy lets Joe get back to his spray painting and by the looks of Joe, I think he needs a rest from the fumes.

We have a brief Kandi-Koated moment as she meets with Mathieu via video conference and he shows her prototypes of her “toys” designed to look like makeup.  It looks like Kandi-Koated gets full on Re-DICK-ulous next week.

Another boring scene between Cynthia and Peter as they discuss the Bailey Agency model search.  Leave it to Peter to set the panic in motion about the casting event.  He warns her the Fire Department will shut her down like a tilt-a-whirl with missing parts if she has more than 30 people in the room.  Quite frankly, I am not sure how she is making any money with this.  Although, these two have a knack for opening up totally unprofitable businesses.

Phaedra is at the funeral home to continue her training.  Her assignment is to meet with her first grieving family to make arrangements.  She starts asking questions in her delicate, hushed tone, and the children tell her that the deceased was married, then Phaedra asks about the mother and they say she has already passed.  This shows you that Phaedra is paying attention, she notices this and wonders why they didn’t say he was a widower.  She gives them a tour of the caskets and sinks them in for $14G’s.  Note to Phaedra:  Don’t say “is there anything jumping out at you” in a room full of caskets.  The jig is finally up when she asks for the birth date of the deceased and they say 4/10/1910.  It turns out to be a mock family who will rate her.  The judges say she is exceptional.

Nene and Andre go out for dinner and Nene is fully confident that she landed the Glee part, which we know she did.  Here she is in her starring role, full set of choppers and all.

They run into Steve Harvey and Nene goes bananas over his wife’s 25 karat ring.  Hosting “The Family Feud” must be lucrative gig.  He warns Nene about the Hollywood pitfalls, “everybody has a bidness card and everyone is a producer”. Nene just needs to clear this with Greg so she can bring Brent out to LaLa land, but I doubt he will go for it.  Nene also sees Keisha Knight Pulliam at the restaurant and asks her for advice and she said Atlanta is really her home.  Remember little Rudy Huxtable from the Cosby show?  Little girl is all grown up and giving Nene advice.

Phaedra and family go to an event honoring the funeral home owner, Willie Watkins.  She invites the Talls and Smalls, but cautions them to forgo any skanky ass clothing.  Kim has no clue why they are there and thinks it’s more of a circus.  Kim sees Kandi and wonders why she is sitting with the Talls, which she calls the moose and the giraffe.  They are quickly realizing this is not Phaedra’s event and Cynthia says it’s a waste of outfit and wig.  Kim is jumping out of her skin and lures She by Shereé outside with her to drop the big news and show her the She by Shereé approved 10 karat engagement ring.  She by Shereé and her Samurai top knot are thrilled and Kim asks her to be a bridesmaid, to which she seems less thrilled.  Funny, I never pictured Kim having a drag queen in her wedding.  Uh oh, that will go down with the black baby comment!  Face it, She by Shereé deserves it, what a skank for stirring up that damn black baby pot to begin with.

Phaedra finally gets her moment and announces her partnership with Willie and the funeral business, funerals worth dying for.  Overall, it’s much ado about nothing.

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