Parting is Such Sweetie Sorrow

Phaedra is busy planning a dedication ceremony for Ayden and I am sure it will be every bit as fabulous as his birthday party.  Phaedra clearly has money to burn, as this one year old boy will recall none of this.  Phaedra has also made it abundantly clear that she loves “pomp and circumstance” and bright blue fascinators!

 

Meanwhile, Damon makes tactical error #1 in is long, hard road down the engagement process.  He takes She by Shereé to look at rings and the sales woman first offers them champagne, because he will need to swill it before he can swallow the prices she starts throwing at him.  She starts right out of the gate showing him $40,000 rings and he’s about to stroke out and he reminds She by Shereé that they have about $40K in student loans alone.  He also tells She by Shereé that she can help out if she thinks Tiara needs a bigger ring.  She by Shereé is just baffled that he doesn’t have enough money saved up since he has been dating Tiara for 8 years.  Clearly, She by Shereé has no concept of how young men think.  He settles on a $6,500 ring, much to She By Dismay.

Nene is bustling around in her kitchen and serving chips and guacamole to her son Brent.  She tries to have a heart to heart talk with him about how he feels about the divorce.  He’s giving her typical teenage answers by saying “sure” to everything she asks, but he does note that Nene is happier and says “no” less often and Greg is not such a grouch anymore.  Brent is at least more responsive than Bryson, probably because he hasn’t started smoking marijuana yet.  Give the young boy time…

Meanwhile, back at the Barbie dream house, Kim and the girls are all atwitter at the impending return of Kroy.  Kim and her private chef are preparing some food and Kim reveals that she put her wig in the microwave to deep condition it and it caught on fire.  I don’t even want to think about what that smelled like.  Kim twiddles her wig hair while resting on the couch while her chef prepares lasagna.

Phaedra arrives at a studio for a photo shoot because she wants a touch of “royalty” for Ayden’s ceremony.  She tries on various ornate head-dresses and the stylist thinks she must have been a drag queen in a former life, quite possible.  She decides on a red leopard print dress and the boys are in their suits and red ties.  Makes sense, it doubles as a holiday card!

Damon takes She by Shereé to a venue where he plans to propose.  She by Shereé wants Tiarra to be surprised and not like “It’s about damn time” like she was with Bob.  He discusses the bar with the restaurant staff and he says as long as there’s Hennessey and Coca Cola, he’s happy.  Now that’s a class act.  She by Shereé is flabbergasted that he is so concerned about the alcohol.  Damon plans to be inebriated for the proposal and tells She by Shereé he needs to be “loose”.  They get into a bit of an argument about it and she questions if he is sure.  She launches into a lecture and tells him if he isn’t ready, he shouldn’t do it.  I think She by Shereé is driving him to second thoughts and at this point, he is ready to pull a Kitty Dukakis and shoot back some Vitalis.

Kroy comes home and the girls scream with delight and he presents Ariana with a hat signed by Tony Gonzalez and she breaks down in tears.  It’s actually quite sweet.  Kim shows Kroy around the house and all the changes she made, including the half-naked pictures of she and Kroy everywhere.  Kim drops the bomb that she fired Sweetie and they spend about 1/18th of a second being sad.  Kim rattles off her list of justifiable cause, Sweetie burned the baby’s breast milk, she lollygagged around the pool with Brielle while Kim was toiling away at the computer reading the latest gossip columns trying to get some work done, she started cursing furiously at the girls… ‘nuff said.  Time to enjoy their welcome home meal.

It’s the day of Ayden’s dedication ceremony and Dwight is back, front and center at the party planning hub.  He has every last detail in place, right town to the edible chocolate statue of the baby Jesus.  Cynthia and Peter arrive and note the coincidence that Phaedra and Apollo’s church is where Pastor Pollard works and he is also the pastor that married them.  They plan to get in a quick counseling session, why not kill two birds with one stone.  Cynthia trashes on the smalls for being late to the ceremony, which they actually don’t show up at all.  The procession begins and the carriers bring Ayden down the aisle in a rickshaw of sorts.  Peter likens it to “Coming to America”.

Meanwhile, Damon drops by She by Shereé’s to discuss the engagement.  He decides that he is not going to propose at this time.  She by Shereé gives her best “supportive” face and admits she is a bit relieved because he can’t afford a big enough ring he’s scared shitless and not ready.

Kim and Kroy do show up at the dedication reception for Ayden.  Phaedra gives them a bit of shit for being late, but is going to let it slide since Kroy just got home from training camp.  She directs Kim to her seats by Cynthia and Peter, but Kim would rather inhale the contents of KJ’s first dump than sit by the likes of those two.  Kim senses that Cynthia and Peter are uncomfortable, and leave it to Cynthia to bring up the Africa trip and intensify the awkwardness.  Cynthia and Peter say their goodbyes, but pause in the parking lot so they can wait for Kim to exit and carry on with their staged parking lot stand-off Cynthia can hiss at Peter for being anti-social.  Kim calls out to Cynthia to confront her about the black baby gate.  They start arguing and Cynthia can’t really remember exactly what she said, but we can go to the tape, so I don’t know why they are arguing.  Cynthia decides arguing is futile and takes the high road and just apologizes to Kim for what was said.  Kim accepts and they part ways.  Cynthia walks away muttering that “it’s hopeless” and Kim needs “a f*cking cigarette.”  Hopefully, we will not have to hear another word about this infamous “black baby”, which was NEVER said.  Cynthia actually said she “couldn’t picture Kim holding an African baby at an orphanage.”  Either way, they aren’t seeing eye to wig.

Nene had a meager showing this week, there was no Kandi Koated action, and we were spared the likes of Marlo all together.  Next week, it looks like we will get a proposal of sorts, Kim and Kroy.

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