Big Stuff Poppin’, Little Stuff Droppin’

Kim is trying to clean up the house while Kroy is gone and Kim, Joe, and Sweetie are moving boxes from one side of the garage to the other.  Kim is ready to throttle Sweetie for throwing her raggedy old nightgown out and Kim’s father Joe is on board with the throwing away of anything and everything.  Ugh, I can smell Kim’s Dad through the television.  A hard mix of burnt Slim Jims and a freshly opened bottle of Old Granddad.  Sweetie threatens to call Clark Howard at 11 live news.  Kim is ready to fire her and she catches Sweetie slacking off and smoking in the back yard, which Kim probably taught her.

Phaedra is back at the funeral home to start embalming training.  Phaedra names her dummy “Annabelle” and they get ready to drain the arteries.  The body is very pliable as long as rigor mortis has not set in.  They drain the main vain, fill it with formaldehyde and then suture it up with some shoelaces.  They get Annabelle into hair and makeup and Phaedra really feels like she is expressing her artistic self.

Cynthia and Peter are discussing their highly unnecessary and financially irresponsible one-year anniversary party and Peter wants her to be surprised about certain things and he reveals that he is over budget by 20% and he needs to borrow money from Cynthia, once again.  He talks about being picked up in a Bentley limousine and Cynthia is on board with that, however he informs her that Mal is not allowed in the car with them.

Kim is getting her hair done and she starts bitching to her wig dresser (yet another Kim employee) about Sweetie not being there on time and dropping the ball on her work.  Kim values Sweetie’s loyalty, but the friendship has crossed the line and there are no boundaries.  Really Kim, and whose fault is that?

Cynthia and Mal sit down and start threading beads onto shoelaces, much like the ones Phaedra used to stitch up Annabelle.  But not even beading can squelch the drama, Mal starts probing Cynthia about the cost of the party.  Cynthia reveals the budget was $10K and they are both paying for it.  Cynthia talks about how the wedding was so negative and they deserve the party.  Mal feels Cynthia keeps giving Peter a “free pass” for his asshole behavior.  Cynthia is sticking up for him and drops the bomb that Mal can’t ride with them, but little does she know, that plan will soon be foiled.

Greg and Nene get together to discuss Bryson’s arrest.  But not even a super-sized mimosa can alleviate Nene’s general disgust.

Greg confronts Bryson about the theft, but due to the full-frontal lobotomy, Bryson can’t answer him.  Greg drills down to his goals and Bryson says someday he wants to own a restaurant, which is so wise in today’s economy.  Maybe Peter can give him a few pointers on how to further f*ck up his life.  Greg lectures him about making changes because it’s practically “curtains” for him the way things are now and he sums up his lecture by saying “Big stuff poppin’, little stuff droppin’!”  Which in layman’s terms must mean, Bryson is talking the talk, but not walking the walk.

Meanwhile, the big day is upon Peter and Cynthia.  Peter is spazzing out because the Bentley hasn’t shown up yet.  They finally have to drive themselves to the party and Cynthia hopes it’s not a bad sign.  Cynthia, I think your first “bad sign” was when your mother and sister conspired to make sure you didn’t have your marriage license at your wedding a year ago.  Gosh, Cynthia instead of riding in a rented Bentley that you cannot afford, I suggest you catch the clue bus!  Guests are arriving and the party is underway.  Cynthia is still in hair and makeup and they are building a small structure on her head that could house a small family of raccoons.  Peter is squawking about her getting dressed and down to the party.  We’re already off to a flying start.  Nene arrives and canoodles with the men and makes her way over to Marlo and her date Dave, who is a white man that reminds me of the guy you see on a package of men’s underpants.  Nene says “white is right” because her greazy pizza parlor business partner/man is a whitey too.

Mal and Cynthia’s mother arrive and talk to Cynthia privately before she makes grand her entrance to the party.  They tell her they are shocked they made it a year, her mom asks if Peter is bipolar and Cynthia starts to go off.  Jeezuz, they haven’t even gotten liquored up yet and they are already at each other like the rabid raccoons living in Cynthia’s bun.

She by Shereé and Lawrence make their way to the party and they discuss Marlo.  Apparently Lawrence has done Marlo’s hair a few times, so She by Shereé gives him the lowdown about the Africa trip, specifically when Marlo said She by Shereé hangs around f*ggots.  Lawrence is very puzzled because he has known Marlo for years and is shocked she would use the “f-word”.

Peter whistles loudly to get everyone’s attention, which offends everyone in the room.  He announces Cynthia’s entrance and Marlo introduces Cynthia to her white date, Dave.  Marlo explains that she broke it off with Charles and Cynthia admires Marlo’s ability to keep it movin’ when she knew Charles wasn’t right.  Could this be foreshadowing…

Kandi arrives prepared to have a good time and doesn’t want to talk about any color babies, period.  They discuss white Dave and Kandi takes this as proof positive that Marlo has a thing for older white men.  She by Shereé calls Kim to see where she is and she is not coming to the party because Cynthia talked smack about her in Africa.  Speaking of smack, Lawrence takes Marlo aside to confront her about using the f-word.  She admits to getting in She by Shereé’s face, but in a masterstroke of bitchy behavior, she denies using the f-word.  Aww…hell naw!  Lawrence and She by Shereé stare at a clearly tanked Marlo in disbelief.  Later, Kandi is a bit perturbed that She by Shereé threw yet another person under the bus, but this time rightfully so, and Kandi confirms that Marlo did use the word.  Do these people forget that they are being filmed?

Peter adds to the WTF-ery of the night and he calls everyone into the room for a toast, except Mal.  At this point, he is just being mean spirited.  He pushes it too far and in a hot second, Mal loses her shit.  She gets into a fight with Cynthia, sticks her finger in her hair structure, cries, and leaves.  At this point, it is a mixture of exhaustion, drunkeness, and general hysteria…to be continued…

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