Can I Get an A-MEN!?!?

The semi-finalist men are in the hot seat tonight and the judges enter prepared to give critique, tears, standing O’s, and hopefully safe wardrobe choices.  JHO appears to be fully clothed tonight.  I saw the areola slip on the Oscars Sunday night, thought my eyes were playing tricks on me, but anyhoo…OHRS shows off the new stage, introduces the band, all while wearing a three piece suit without a tie…hmmm…odd choice.

DAWG is sporting a button down shirt with a collar so high and stiff, it almost looks like one of those cones they put around a DAWG’S neck to keep it from licking wounds.  OHRS also takes note of at JHO’s Sunday night wardrobe malfunction, but that couldn’t be avoided.  Steven is a little low key this evening, but that is probably because the girls have the night off.

Each finalist can choose any song they want and they were allowed to take a trip home with a camera to show us more about them and get some inspiration.  Reed Grimm takes a trip back to Wisconsin and he talks about cheese and changing his two niece’s dirty diapers.  All that inspiration and he comes up with “Moves Like Jagger”?  He performs a slower version of the song, adding his attempt at a Maroon 5-ey touch, but it’s a grim attempt.  Sorry, can’t help the grim jokes.  He goes a little Sheila E. on his li’l bastard drum kit, loses his mic pac, and manages to sound like a bad Holiday Inn Express lounge act.  DAWG likens him to Casey, JHO likes the Grimm jazzy spin on the tune, and Steven liked the shuffle in his step.  Sidebar:  Seriously wardrobe department, why would you put that vest on OHRS?

Adam Brock a.k.a. White Chocolate returned home to cook a gourmet dinner for his friends, play the piano, and spend some time with his family, and adorable dog I might add.  He pounds out a mellow version of “Think”, Steven likes his nickname, JHO likes the big finish, DAWG likes the 70’s throwback vibe and the Pittsburgh pride.  Good lookin’ out…

Deandre Brackensick a.k.a. Milli Vanilli returned to California to show off his sister, who is also a singer and probably a future contestant.  “Reasons” is his song of choice and it gives me reasons to have hope.  He has a very unique sound and the judges go wild, JHO calls his voice perfect, DAWG calls him very commercial and unique.

Colton “I’m not here to audition” Dixon is up next and he returned to Tennessee to gloat visit his family and get inspired.  He sings “Decode” and plays the piano for a bit and then attempts to rock it out like he’s Adam Lambert.  JHO looks concerned, worried, afraid…I am not a fan of Colton or the skunk living in his hair.  DAWG is happy he is back and loves the variety Colton showed, JHO wants to see more of his heart, Steven is happy to finally see his talent.

Jeremy Rosado is up next and is the first to sit on the stools of death with OHRS and chat about his song.  Jeremy has been nicknamed the “spirit stick” of the group and we get to see his quick visit to Florida to seek inspiration.  We see Jeremy in action at the germ clinic and we see the “Gravity” of the situation, thus inspiring his song choice.  Jeremy is the first to make use of the Hasbro’s Slippery Steps, he descends down to the stage with his softer side   He hits the high note and JHO and Steven go to the waterskiing squirrel happy place.  OHRS reflects on their “melting faces”, Steven called it beautiful and commended him on his big heart, JHO calls him “Jer-Bear” and says he is blessed by God, DAWG introduces Jeremy to America, reinforcing the fact that the fans don’t know who he is.  Either way, DAWG loves Jer-Bear’s “crazy sangin’!”

OHRS asks Steven how he is doing and he says he is “as confused as a baby in a topless bar.”  Wha, wha, whaaa?  He talks about JHO daring him to take his pants off and dive in the LaReve plasma pool and now JHO is “out pressing” him and then he fakes a sneeze and opens his shirt to expose his moob.  DAWG is still confused about the baby in the topless bar comment…me too DAWG.  JHO makes a last cry to the camera “there was no nipple!”  Right JHO, we know, it was your areola.

Sidebar:  OHRS is out growing that little vest as the show progresses, and Stevens Nip…in case you missed it:

Good Lord, enough of this nip-foolery…Aaron Marcellus is up next after his visit to New York where he teaches vocal and dance lessons.  He sings “Never Can Say Goodbye” and it doesn’t look like we will say goodbye.  He has a lot of control over his voice and shows a good range, JHO and Steven are rockin’ out and he gets the first standing O of the night.  DAWG calls his run CRAZY, JHO says “boy can sing”, and Steven says he’s the “whole package”.

Country Crooner Chase Likens is up next.  He takes a trip to West Virginia to show us his humble abode.  He has a penchant for whistling, horses, and singing “Storm Warning”.  He works the crowd and JHO is diggin’ it, Steven needs his bi-focals to focus.  Chase looks like someone, Steven thinks it’s Brendan Fraser.  JHO looks forward to seeing more, DAWG says he has range, skills, and good looks like DAWG and Steven.  Chase must be fairly tall because he makes OHRS look Lilliputian.

Crouton Fraker returns to New York to show us his garden apartment and runs around the city acting showing us his “True Colors”.  He is definitely not afraid to let his freak flag fly.  JHO calls it beautiful and it expressed his individuality, Steven called it stupendous, DAWG doesn’t know how they are going to lose half the guys after tonight.

Dave Matthews Phillip Phillips is up next and derives his inspiration from his home in Georgia.  “In the Air Tonight” is his pick and you can tell he is a Dave Matthews knock off because his stitching is sloppy, slanted, and uneven, and he came from a flea market.  I am a bit unsure if his style will be adaptable to what this competition throws at him.  JHO said the judges were talking about him and he is the one to watch, Steven says he hit his stride, DAWG agrees with me about the Dave Matthews thing and wants him to stick with the melodies more.  OHRS asks Philips boss and father what he thought “I told him to the best he could, do it every time he does it, and that’s what he tries to do, and you can tell it.”  “Well said”, quips OHRS.

Eben Frankewitz from Ohio shows us he is outgoing, funny, and does his chores.  He plans to “Set Fire to the Rain”, which I have to say is a ballzy move.  Oh Eben, Eben, Eben…Newsies called, they need you back on the set.  DAWG is straining to enjoy it and calls him “mad young” and cool and collected.  It wasn’t all perfect, flat notes, but he held it together.  JHO was impressed with him and Steven called his voice “true and straight”, advised he listen to some blues records and “shake it off a bit.”  Uggh…Steven…don’t forget the lotion and Kleenex.  I just sickened myself.

Hey Jun makes a visit to New York to find some inspiration and he gets his mom to do a little happy dance on camera.  He plans to melt hearts with “Angels”.  Wardrobe has put him in a little vest as well, they must have been on sale in the dollar bin at Goodwill.  JHO didn’t think the song showed his voice off very well, “but there’s no denying you can blow”.  Steven and DAWG agree.  OHRS and Hey Jun look like twins in their vests.  How cute…

Joshua Ledet takes the stage next and OHRS reveals his nickname is “Mantasia”.  Ok, cool…we’ll go with dat!  Josh goes back to Louisiana to make a smoothie and from that we have “You Pulled Me Through”, a J-Hud hit.  Hey, a good smoothie always pulls me through too.  JHO stares with thoughtful intent, Steven rocks side to side like a mental patient, DAWG is lovin’ it, pumpin’ that diva hand.  Second standing O of the night, Mantasia is a man to watch!  DAWG asks if we can get an “AMEN” up in here, JHO is somewhat speechless and says she wants to punch him…err?  Steven says he is the voice the world has been waiting to hear, as he strokes the bird living in his hair.  Well DAWG…you can get an AMEN up in here…that was the performance of the night!

The judges bring back gentle giant, Jermaine Jones, to round out the baker’s dozen, however the poor sap doesn’t stand a chance after that last performance.  Jermaine is also sporting a vest and a bow tie and has a go at “Dance With My Father”.  Judges give him the third standing O of the night.  DAWG is excited about his baritone voice, JHO and Steven call him beautiful.

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