The Tribe Has Spoken

The judges come out and WTF is JHO wearing?  She looks like a banana cream pie.  Peaches comes down Hasbro’s slippery steps to start the show and announces that Casey is sick in the hospital.  That is not a good sign.  We get a short little bit of the convention center that the contestants are living in.

Sidebar:  I could really live without these group musical numbers at the beginning of the results show.  They should really cut the show to 30 minutes and just get the freak on wit’ it!

Oh for cripes sake, now we have to sit thru the “Ford Music Video”.  I have now switched from gummi bears to gummi worms.  They fly better.

Now we have to watch the contestants go to the premiere of “Red Riding Hood”.  This is 27 kinds of f*ckery, but thank goodness for TiVo and I can fast forward through this debacle.

Okay, finally…we have Jacob, Karen, and Stephotto.  What is wrong with Steven, he looks higher than a crack house rat!  Karen is in the bottom three.  Go take a seat on the reject stool.

We get a visit from old contestant Adam Lambert.  Funny thing is, I cannot remember who beat him in the competition.  It seems like the ones that don’t win have more successful careers.  Then JHO is teaching Adam how to “duggy”?  No clue what they are talking about.

Lauren, Ashton, and Haley…Lauren says that she “sucked”, but she is safe.  Why does Hailey have birds in her hair now?  Ashton and Hailey are both sent to the stools of death.

Everyone else in the comp is safe, but one of the bottom three could get “the save”.  Oh but first we must listen to “Diddy Dirty Money” sing “Razor Blades in My Ears”.

Karen is safe, she gives her hugs, Peaches is like “get off me and take a seat.”  Hailey is also safe and Ashton gets to sing one last time for the save.  She goes with Diana Ross again, which is a mistake. She can’t quite get her game face on, she looks like she ate some tainted clams.  JHO delivers the brick-in-the-face and Ashton is going home.  Adios, you’re in a cab, you’re vapor.

See y’all next week!

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