Guys, guys, guys

Sidebar:  First off, Steven looks like he his suffering from a low flow shower head.  Remember that Seinfeld episode where their hair was all flat???

Junebug

“Very superstitious” he does okay, but I am still not over what he did to Cheechako.  I will get over it in time, but I am still mad.  He will pay the price my friend…oh yes he will.

Johnny Bravo (A.K.A Holiday Inn Express)

I am not a fan and I don’t think I need to say anything more here.  Dawg agrees with me.

Jordan Dorsey (A.K.A. Nitro Burnin Bitch)

I will revert back to my hyena OD’ing on lentils and farting into a fan.

Tim Halperin

Again, not great.  OMFG…I am turning into Simon Cowell.

Bret (A.K.A. Simply Red)

Thank God hair and makeup finally got some Frederick Fekkai product into his hair.  I rather enjoyed him, I think he did great.

Turret Boy

He slams the Judas Priest song and performs over the top.  Another one of my faves.  Dawg says “this is how you do it!” and calls him “nice and tasty.”  I think Dawg is craving a Whopper Jr. with cheese. (no onion or tomato, extra ketchup).

Robbie “the nose always knows” Rosen

Not impressed, he takes on a Sarah McLaughlan song and sucks ass.  Dawg agrees with me.  Is it evident that I have been watching this show for all 10 seasons and I know whassup?

Scotty

He sings “Letters From Home”, again not impressed, but I am sure he will get big fan votes.

Stefano Langone

Is it wrong that I love him?  He’s so cute, I just want to put him in my pocket and take him home.  I think Chris Hansen is about to walk around the corner and ask me to take a seat and offer me some sweet tea.  Dawg agrees with me, he did a great job.

Paul McDonald

He sounds a lot like Rod Stewart, but I think that’s the irony in his song choice, “Maggie May.”  For reals?  Show some range, my god man.

Jacob

He could sell bubblegum in the lockjaw ward at Bellevue.  Judges compare him to Luther Vandross.  He ROCKS.

Casey Abrams (A.K.A. Seth Rogan)

He put a “spell” on us all right.  He is ape sh!t good.

That’s all for the guys, I will move on to the girls next.  I know I am behind, but I am catching up.

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