Beatlejuice

Tonight we find out what the shocking twist was…they are going to Sin City for Beatles night.  They have 24 hours to learn the songs.  Jezzuz, I can’t take any more of the crying.

The vocal coach Peggy Blu is a nitro burnin’ bitch, she tells the contestants they are going to “croak” and tells one girl to bury the others ass on the stage.  She says she will happily eat crow with a little salt on it if they prove her wrong.  She seems like the type of broad that goes around biting heads off of birds just for fun.

It’s pretty amazing to me how many of these kids haven’t even heard these songs.  I reckon they are young, but c’mon…get with the program.

Most of the contestants did pretty well, so we will just cover the lowlights:

Ashley Sullivan-Suraiva

Okay, I already wrote my column for the prior episode and I said that this Sloppopotamus looks like she would kill a man in her sleep.  Well rope my feet and call me dogy, but she is going to get married while in Vegas and she tells her boyfriend he is going thru with it or SHE’LL KILL HIM IN HIS SLEEP.  Wow, I sure can spot a psycho circus geek when I see one!  She also says she is getting married where Britney Spears did and that Brit Brit is her hero, so it is quite the auspicious occasion.  Anyone that says that Brit Brit is their hero deserves to be smacked in the face with a bag of golf balls.  Then this cracked out skankarella gets married in pleather pants.  Well if she wants to do this wedding in true Brit Brit style, they will need to stop at a gas station to get some industrial strength condoms because neither one should pro-create, then they will need some Fanta, and Funyonions for their wedding night celebration.

The First Cut is the Deepest

They made a big fat cut out of the first group, but then they have to make the individual cuts so we have our top 24.

Most of the show was a snooze fest, but the worst cut was Chris Medina.  He actually took it like a champ.  It was harder on JHO than anyone, she doesn’t know if she can continue on.  Sh!t, now I have salty discharge coming from my eyeballs.

It was a sad night for Idol, hopefully better next week.  Until then…don’t carry a grudge.  It’s very heavy and it doesn’t have a handle.

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